Crazy in Paradise

A Reason to Smile

2012-01-08T21:18:00.001-08:00

As I have mentioned periodically my husband travels, but for the past month and a half he has been on a travel freeze. It has been extremely.....I don't know how to describe it. Words fail me... It has been...AMAZING! Not only has there been no traveling but there has been no school for most of that time as well. It is as though this time has given us a brief glimpse of what life will be like after the MBA.

He has been here for bedtime and bath time. He has helped chauffeur and referee. He has made dinners and done dishes. He has cleaned toilets and lifted heavy things. He has been my knight in shining armor!

It's amazing how much you don't realize that you do until someone else is able to help.

But now that time is over. (This is not the reason to smile.) As we finished dinner together we said a family prayer and he was off to the airport. There were dishes to do and food to put away. There were kids to get ready for bed and lunches to prepare.

And then the call came.....The call that lets you know you chose the right person....The one where he says the exact right thing to help you get through the week.

(On the drive to the airport)

"I miss you already. I started crying as I left. I wish I didn't have to go."

That's when I remember he hates being gone just as much as I hate having him gone. That my friends is my reason to smile.

Marathon

2012-01-07T13:24:00.000-08:00

So right now life is a marathon...more precisely a marathon being run backwards. You see I think that if you can see where you're going that takes the biggest obstacle out of a marathon but life isn't that way- at least not mine.
I see life right now as a whole pile of options with unknown outcomes. Certainly an amount of certainy can be found in some things but generally the unkown is the prevailing theme. For example, my hubby will graduate with his MBA soon. This in no way ensures a higher pay grade, better job or anything other than student loan bills- that is a certainty.
It's not that I worry a ton about the uncertainty but like that backwards marathon things can be tricky. I don't know if there is an uphill climb or a downhill slide. I am unable to know if there will be a rock in the road or a hole. Will I fall apart on the course or will I find an inner strength that helps me cross the finish line?
With this new year and new goals I am just trying to accept that the uncertainty is CERTAIN! Embracing this crazy life where fair is a four-lettered word is the main goal and if I can do that maybe a marathon being run backwards is the best way to run one. You at least get to see where you have been and appreciate it for what it is/was.
So on with the marathon....

My Piece of Peace

2012-01-06T13:39:00.000-08:00

So I am NOT a naturally happy person. I mean it takes effort for me. I am just not wired to be happy 24/7. There are definite glimpses every day, and sometimes every hour, but not continuously. Certainly there are issues with my DNA that are a part of this but as my Dad taught me:

Genotype (DNA) + Environment --> Phenotype (How you turn out/look)

Since I can't change my DNA I am working feverishly at changing my environment. I have found that a great deal of my happiness is directly correlated to the amount of PEACE that I have in my life. How do I get that peace? How can I maintain that peace?

First, cleanliness. I am not a good housekeeper. As noted by the decrapification of 2011 and the continuing of said practice into 2012. Seriously there is a ton of junk that enters into my house. We have given over $1500 worth of junk in 2011 to Goodwill, Salvation Army, etc. CRAZY. Plus trash galore. Seriously not a good housekeeper.

So it is a struggle to find peace when the house is a disaster or when dishes seem to live in the sink more than the cabinet. NO peace there! So I have had to learn that although cleanliness is next to Godliness being grumpy is not! I have had to accept that sometimes playing with the kids is more important than an immaculate home- at least for me. Peace!

Second, organization. Sure my clothes are hung by color in my closet and I covet the space to be organized but this does not come naturally! So many people compliment me on being organized and having it together but those comments make me want to fall on the floor laughing hysterically. I mean I am usually flying by the seat of my pants here. (I finally made a month's menu the other day just to stop the conflict of what was planned for dinner vs. what someone else wants for dinner to a minimum.) I would love to have a place for everything and everything in it's place but I don't. I am lucky to have the home that I do have- limited storage and all. So if things aren't collated and annotated it's OK. As long as I know where it is. You know pile A, B or C. AH PEACE!

Third, fitness & self image. As much as I enjoy being outside and trying to work out regularly I hurt. I am broken and I have to be careful. The desire to not hurt seriously limits the desire to over exert myself. Also, I love FOOD. I mean I read cookbooks. I souvenir eat when I travel. I have food dreams and that is certainly genetic! So learning that my metabolism at 15 was completely unnatural and that I am rapidly approaching 3_ with baby weight, depression weight and a body that no longer wants to cooperate id very dis heartening. So I have had to have the discipline to eat off of salad plates and work out more. I have had to accept that if I want to even be mobile I have to excercise carefully. Maybe I can't even dream of rock hard abs or slender arms but if I can get out of bed that is a plus. I have had to accept that I am more than my body or my brains. I seem smart but I am not really. I seem confident but mostly I am uncertain. But learning to accept that being what I think I see in myself is often false is helpful to finding peace.

Finally, overarching everything-PERFECTION! I want the perfect home- not gonna happen. I want the perfect husband- pretty close but not quite. I want the perfect children- let's face it they are kids. I want the perfect dog- if we are gonna have one she needs to be PERFFECT, right? I want to be perfect too. This is totally counterintuitive to PEACE. If perfect means conflict then NO Thanks! If perfect means giving me migraines, I'd rather not! If perfect means I can't let my kids make cookies or paint or play in the snow then I will take my imperfect life for the sake of PEACE. The Peace that comes from 4 kids that love to play together is AMAZING! The peace that comes from sitting around a dinner table together and listening to the jabbering of my family is a unique brand of peace just for me!

So in the end I am slowly finding my piece or peace! Sure it is not the same for anyone of us but hopefully mine will carry me through. And maybe one day I will be happier and even joyful.

$5000 Week

2011-12-23T22:18:00.000-08:00

$5,000

That's a substantial amount of money right? I hope you think so too because that is what we spent- maybe more- in the beginning week of our lovely month of December.

First, accidentally backing into garage door that is no longer made so entire door needs replacing. $1300

Next, mortgage....$1600

Then, sick child...4 doctors' visits @ $30 each= $120 plus 3 prescriptions totaling $60 plus 2 ER visits =$500 minus $250 because said sick child was then admitted to hospital by way of ambulance for two days. Grand total TBD but more than I want to think about.

But my little guy is better and although we were on the cusp of being free from consumer debt THEN this came knocking I wouldn't trade his smile for all the money in the world... Time and season right? NO debt is too much when it means my child is better. He is smiling and happy and fun and eating me out of house and home.

So although we all wish we could spend money like a millionaire I'd rather be able to save like one because the thought of all this makes me break into a cold sweat....Well maybe next year we can make it without a hospital visit or broken bone or major home repair.

With four kids and a dog, I highly doubt it!

Too Fast

2011-11-30T13:07:00.000-08:00

As I contemplate what is most important in life I look at this picture

and I realize that these instances outweigh any other thing I will ever do.

I can't get my babies back and I can't have anymore.

I can't capture the wonder of feeling a baby kick or seeing a first step.

I can never get the first day of Kindergarten back or the accomplishment

of a hard piece of music perfected.

I CAN:

Hold them tighter

Enjoy the good & ignore the not so good

Teach them responsibility

Empower them

Tell them I love them until they believe it

Show them that being a good mom isn't about perfection or guilt trips

but it's about being present; even when it's hard.

Kids I am here for you.

Not because I have to be but because I want to be.

The best memories I have are with you.

I am trying everyday to be the mom that you deserve.

Sure I am not perfect but I am trying.

Maybe one day you will know that!

This image will forever be burned in my memory.

A testament that they are moving forward,

no matter how much I want them to stop!

A reminder that they do have each other and they love each other.

A moment of peace and happiness that makes the hard times a bit easier.

Celebr8

2011-10-25T21:13:00.000-07:00

So I have this little girl.

Just one.

She's pretty much my princess.....

Really she's all our family's princess

She is AMAZING

She is passionate & helpful

She is smart & beautiful

She is fun & loving

She is genuine & devoted

She is who I want to be when I grow up.

When people say she reminds them of me I am in awe....

in awe that I am in any way comparable to this lady.

I do not deserve this daughter but I am glad that she's mine.

Here she stands on the edge of childhood ready to conquer the world.

Sure she's NOT perfect but neither is her mom

She's the best of me and hopefully better

She is fearless and I love her!

Thanks for letting me be your mom.

A bit about my girl:

Enjoys: Art & horseback riding

Plays piano

Enjoys: cooking & gardening

Loves her family

Hikes, writes, reads & loves musicals

Some favorite recent quotes:

On being asked if she'd ever want to move~

"I can't move I'd miss my best friend too much,

without him (yep it's a boy) I'd feel like a cake with a hole in it"

(Deep, huh?)

On telling her that dad & bros need gun practice since she's too beautiful~

"I know how to shoot the .22 but I need to learn to shoot the shotgun!"

Happy 8th Birthday!

NOLA

2011-10-10T22:07:00.000-07:00

So my husband is basically amazing!

He travels TONS for work and is getting an MBA and still he finds time to get me away for a weekend HOME. I grew up in South Louisiana and nothing says South Louisiana more than
NEW ORLEANS!

As he was there on business he arranged for me to join him afterwards to soak in NOLA!

It was perfect!

The flights, the food, the weather, the sights, the food, the sounds, the history, the food

& we even did pretty well with the parking!

If you aren't from here it may be hard to grasp the idiosyncrasies of the town but you can appreciate the beauty and history (and food) of such an eclectic place.

(In case you couldn't tell I am a souvenir eater.)

I even came home from the trip with a greater appreciation for my parents in raising me somewhere far from family but that exposed me to a

culture that I would have never known otherwise.

I hadn't been back since KATRINA and it was amazing to see the recovery and the damage that remains. To see the theater where I first saw Les Miserables fenced off and still being repaired broke my heart. To know that the church that I went to my first dance at had to be demolished and all that is left is the concrete slab was indescribable. To see homes all over the city- not just the 9th ward- with the X's and dates searched still there was disturbing. And to drive down streets where we would have been underwater back then brought tears and inexplicable emotion.

On the other hand; to walk where both mine and my husband's ancestors walked when they immigrated was tender. To see where my dad was working all those years after I left for college was so interesting. To remember my Louisiana history teacher, Mrs. McCartney, and her passion for this place we called home was inspiring. To taste of the food was heavenly.

To hear the music and see the art was inspiring. To watch the Mighty Mississippi River flow and know that it helped make this nation was a testament to me of how amazing this place is.

But above all of this to share this experience with the person I love the most was

SPECTACULAR!

Sure 48 hours wasn't enough but it just gives me the excuse to go back.

Until then I will be craving the food!

First place I ate@ right off the plane. Blackened Redfish-mmmmm

Charbroilled/grilled Oysters @ ACME Oysters

Louisiana Shrimp & Grits

@ Surrey's on Magazine St.

Bananas Foster @ Brennan's on Royal St.

AMAZING Greek Restaurant

Metairie, LA

(best hummus EVER!)

Labor Day

2011-09-12T23:31:00.000-07:00

We have some amazing friends. Some of them we were blessed to spend Labor Day weekend with up at their cabin in the mountains of southern CO.

7 Kids, 7 Adults, 3 dogs and 4 horses equals a serenity that you wouldn't expect!

It's amazing to get away but unfortunately Monday came and Hubby was gone again...

Summer Reflection

2011-08-20T12:03:00.000-07:00

As school let out at the beginning of June I had such high hopes for summer. Alas I and my children are mortal and not every minute thing went right. But all in all memories were made and a few tears were shed. Bones were broken and mended. I think this quote sums up my summer, if not life in general:

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.

Good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant.

Doctor Who, Vincent and the Doctor

I told ya that there was a broken arm. Little William busted it right before we headed to Wyoming and Idaho for a week. Perfect timing!

WYOMING:

We also were able to attend a beautiful wedding in Idaho. My parents came up to see us from Utah and we were able to see grandparents/great-grandparents.

HICKS Great-grandparents

Cute Family

Hicks Family

Grandpa Baron & J

Four Generations

Poor P-nut missed out on swimming lessons because of his arm :(

And before we knew it August was here and the kids were all in school. (P-nut is in preschool, 2 days a week.)

P-nut & his best bud

Ready for preschool

First day of school!

So that was just about it...or was it???

Ready or Not

2011-07-18T16:12:00.000-07:00

For years I have had regrets about the twists and turns that my education took. I was lucky enough to get a degree and although I learned a lot and enjoyed my major it wasn't my first choice.
Originally I wanted to be a nurse. A NICU nurse to be precise, but due to financial constraints and REALLY bad advice I changed my major-twice.

I had to work to put myself through school and because of that I wasn't as able as I wanted to be to study, or learn, or immerse myself in my learning. I had to watch my dream die. Whereas I was able to move on from other dreams that I had to let go of- like serving a mission- I have always clung to the thought that this dream might still be a possibility.

As I enter the first year with only one child at home and the knowledge that there can be no more babies it is time for me to figure out how to rescue my poor, crushed, little dream. So a few months ago I began by researching nursing programs, as well as medical schools, here in Colorado.

My poor dream although on life support seams to be making an effort to make a come back. I am nearly half-way through a pre-requisite course (Medical Terminology) and I am doing much better this go around.

I have five other classes that I have to take before I apply (Microbiology, Anatomy, Physiology, Chemistry & Statistics) as well as one or two more I may take for the heck of it, but maybe by the time I am all alone I can go back to school.

Dear Hubby is so encouraging but it is super hard to do this. I lack so much confidence in my ability to learn and I have the guilt of leaving the kids. (I am good at guilt- it's a talent really.) I am really trying to feel good about this decision and reading this certainly has helped but it is as though I have this great internal battle of, "You are a bad mom so you might as well be gone" to "If anything happens to the younglings while you are away it is because you are away." (Great internal schizophrenia, right?)

I am so TORN

At one moment I will be so into it all that I will be willing to sell my soul to Uncle Sam to pay for it all and the next moment I will be avoiding homework. I have felt that this is the direction for me to go. I know that it will be hard. Now that DH is half way done with his MBA here goes mom into the fray. (Look I rhymed) Is this fair to the kids? How will we cope?

This is certainly one of those walk into the dark moments. And here I am slowly inching my way into the entryway of darkness.

So pray that I have the guts to stick it out so that my poor lifeless little dream can blossom and turn into something that even I can't imagine.

Onto homework....

Misc.

2011-07-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

You know how some days you are so happy as a parent and how others you question what drug you took that made you think this was a good idea? Yep ...too bad you can't schedule those days. I think Tuesday's are way better for questioning parenting than Fridays. I'm just saying.

Why does OCD have to be bad? I could use a bit more of it in my life. Maybe something would stay clean and organized, just one thing.

How I'll know when I am dead.....,I'm sure you all think this is terribly morbid but oh well. I've long stated that when I die, because we all do, but I'll know, not because of the white lights and all these vaugely familiar people looking at me, no it will be because I feel well rested and I won't hurt anymore. It really stinks that once my kids sleep through the night that I don't. It's even worse that I live life at an annoying 4.5 to 6 on the pain scale. So I'll know when I am dead because oh I'll feel so much better. This is why I'll live another 60 years at least.

I went to see Cars 2 and it was cute but I really wish if they were going to set part of it in the UK that they could have at least done a short with the guys from Top Gear. Missed the boat there Pixar. Oh well...

Family vacations are no vacation for moms. We pack. We cook. We clean....oh dear we have another one coming up. I'm sure once I get there it will be fine but I haven't recovered from the laundry of the last trip....ack!

Friends With Substance

2011-06-30T11:20:00.000-07:00

So a few years ago I said something profound. ( I know too bad it doesn't happen more frequently, huh?) Anyway, I happened to be with three dear friends saying goodbye to one in our group and while at dinner I mentioned how grateful I was to have "Friends With Substance". (They could tell you better than I the exact scenario.) I have been contemplating that as another "friend with substance" prepares to move across the country.
First, let me describe what a friend with substance is. In my estimation it is someone who will get down and dirty with you. They will change your kids diapers, and in a real pinch probably yours too. They will laugh with you. And cry, the deep, ugly, soul-wrenching cry of someone who is bearing it all. These friends are life-long. No amount of miles, education, religion or socioeconomic distance can separate you.
"FWS" lovingly overlook your faults and often love you because of them instead of in spite of them. "FWS" can get over any difference of opinions you may have and love you anyway. At the core though is the fact that the things you value most are honored, respected and even protected by these people.
My husband has had an amazing example of this in his life. As a freshman in college he met two such guys and then while serving a mission for our church he met the pinnacle of "FWS". Jason Jones. This man is simply AMAZING. Every year he calls DH on his birthday. Now you may say no big deal but the fact is we aren't even sure when he found out the exact birthday and that he lives in England and that he is a man makes him a stand out "FWS".

I have been lucky enough to have quite a few of these in my life. Especially since my favorite "FWS" (DH) is gone a lot I really need them in my life. My "FWS" think deep thoughts and are yet down to earth. They appreciate my assets and I theirs and enjoy going on trips with me, be it across the country or to GoodWill(ahhh) they still love me at the end of it all.
You can be totally honest and not worry that they will hate you. They can forgive the emotional diarrhea that you sometimes inflict on them because they know that you are there for them when their bout comes along. You can stay up way to late talking and laughing and talking and crying because they get you.

Most of all though you are totally a better person because of them! They make you a better wife, not worse. They commiserate about motherhood but inspire you to keep up the awesome job that you are already doing. They tell you to follow your dreams but teach you to be wise about it. They are an arm to lean on when you are weak and you are theirs. You pray for them and they for you. They are the people that you wish you could spend more time with but life sometimes gets in the way, but since you are "FWS" your relationship will always be great.

Sure not every "friend" may be substantial but the good news is that they can be. I sincerely feel that being genuine and yourself is what we need in our lives. There is too much of the artificial and surface pleasantries in the world. We need a little more of the nitty gritty. When people quit saying that they love each other and wishing for "world peace" and start showing their love for their fellow man/woman we will be better off. Then maybe, just maybe, we can say "I am imperfect but I am trying" or "yep I have wrinkles and stretch marks and my boobs sag but I am good with it" and then maybe our sons and daughters will be better for seeing their parents be genuine and become "FWS" to the next generation.

So my dear "FWS", I hope that you know who you are, I love you! You are all amazing! Starting with my hubby with no end in sight to the amount of "FWS" I hope that I can enjoy in my life.

Tale of a Single Married Woman

2011-06-01T11:16:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my dear friend and roommate, Rachel, I was able to read this interesting blog post about single-married parenting. This woman had such an amazing perspective about the life that so many women share. I totally identified with this lady and laughed out loud. But after reading her post I thought a lot about how I have come to terms with being a single married parent.

Now I am in no way perfect but I have SLOWLY found that it does no good to complain continually. After years and years of my husband missing events and not being there when I think he should be, I have learned that as much as it frustrates me that he's not here he has to endure the sadness of missing milestones that we can never recapture. We have come to the point in our lives where we have to pick and choose the events that dad can make. (Seriously,DH has not been home for his birthday in over 6 years.)

Now it certainly helps that I am surrounded by numerous friends who are in the same boat. We all have to discipline and clean and sleep ALONE. Sure we get to eat ice cream for dinner (or in my case guacamole or hummus) but I'd much rather have dinner with my DH. Sure he gets to eat lobster on the expense account but he to is alone and if he isn't he is talking shop through the meal.

I don't know what delusion I was under when I married but somehow I though that 9 to 5 was enough and that dinner together as a family every night was not too much to ask for. Well all you young whipper snappers let me tell you a thing or two, that is not reality! Nope. Somehow I had forgotten how often my dad was gone and my mom left alone with us hellions and she had no family around to periodically rescue her. There were know video games or computers to entertain us when she was exhausted. And all in a 1400 square foot home with 5 kids. How did she survive? What toll did we take on her sanity?

I don't know the answer to those questions but I do know that nowadays it is worse than ever. When we were first married there were no cell phones like there are today but my DH was blessed with a pager as a car salesman. I know, seriously a car salesman? Anyway if he was paged it meant his customer was in and he had to run like some EMT to the scene. It was seriously annoying especially when I'd have to go to the movies alone or anything we planned to do got turned upside down. I should've known that was just the beginning but I thought it might get better with a new job- don't kid yourself lady! So here we are 12 years into marriage 10 1/2 years into parenting and yet in some ways the work stuff is worse (thanks to smart phones).

But my husband has a job. A job where when he is in town he can work from home a few days a week. A job that slows in the summer but is seriously crazy the rest of the year. (Last year DH was in nearly 40 states in a single year, HI & AK for fun but the rest for work.) A job that has allowed him and I to go back to school. A job that he enjoys for the most part.

So what have I learned in my single married state? Well, I have learned that there are more people out there in the same boat than not. I have learned to cope. If a day is particularly bad I send the kids to bed early-harder in summer than in winter. If we want pizza we eat it. If we want to watch a movie we do. If I choose to take the kids swimming after school I do and I don't worry about dinner, sandwiches will do or cereal for that matter. I have girl friends and we get together with all the kids and have a dinner with an adult conversation. It's like cheap therapy. Same gal pals help make freezer meals so that when we want a good meal it's there and we don't have to do take out. I have learned to keep the kids on a routine and that I do them no favors by not allowing/making them pitch in. I mean this is a family not a hotel and resort. I am not the maid and if you wanna live here you work. The kids have learned to be a little calmer when dad is gone, especially when I get a migraine. And the older kids take care of the younger ones.

I have also learned that there is NO SUCH THING as a 9 to 5 job that can support a family of 6. I have learned to show my husband that I love him and that he is important even if he isn't home. I want him to want to come home so throwing a fit about a canceled flight, two weeks in a row, will not solve anything. I have learned that when he is home to not be a martyr and take the breaks he offers me.

So all in all being a single married parent is no walk in the park but this is how it is right now. I love and respect my husband. I am so glad that he is not above working with the crews he is supposed to be supervising and that he works so hard to provide for us. DH doesn't get time off as he is pursuing his MBA and he is a Boy Scout leader so if he wants to watch a sporting event then by all means do it. I don't get time off either so when he tells me to go riding or out with the girls I don't argue so much anymore. And above all we make time for each other. Time to listen to each other, either in person or on the phone.

We, all of us, are making this thing work. One day, one week, one month at a time. So good luck and hang in there all you single married moms you're not alone, even when it sure feels like it.

Preschool Graduation

2011-05-21T16:10:00.000-07:00

Well Butch (of Butch and Sundance- name changed to protect the innocent) has graduated from preschool. Yep my #3 will be in Kindergarten this fall. So sad but so fun too.

We were so blessed to have Sis. Ann as our preschool teacher. She is an amazing woman who can do what this parent is so ill-equipped to do. I can't get my kids to sit still for 20 minutes let alone 2.5 hours.
At the start of the year Butch could barely write his name and now he can write so well. He counts. HE reads and he sings.

The amazing Sis. Ann taught the kids a great deal this year but they really loved learning to be patriotic. So for graduation there was a patriotic theme. For the program little Butch signed up to sing the national anthem. HE did an amazing job.

Our little guy is pretty amazing and we are so glad that he is a part of our family. He's grown up way too fast and it will be hard for Sundance and I to adjust to him being gone everyday. But Sundance will now be able to go to preschool with Sis. Ann and that will be a superb blessing to him and to me.

Little Black Dress

2011-05-16T14:08:00.000-07:00

This piece of necessary wardrobe wear seems to be the hardest piece to find to fill my closet. At times I have owned a black dress; sometimes little, sometimes not so much. For one reason or another though I have become slightly obsessed but unwilling to settle. I am to the point where if I am going to spend money on something I want to LOVE it.
I have been pouring over images and catalogs. I constantly check the racks at Goodwill. I lust at Nordstrom but nearly faint over the cost.
Where can I find the perfect LBD? I know what I want but where can I get it? I am no good at sewing but it is becoming tempting.
I mean I love this one:

But of course it was already SOLD :(
I have looked at vintage and modesty sights all over the internet.
More that I have lusted over:

Who knows if I will find one that I LOVE and if I don't that's OK. I just wish that the styles that I love were more readily available but lets face it, it's not the 1940s or 50s and the little back dress that I long for may be impossible to find. Alas I will move on BUT if you see one that might not break the bank or make me look too frumpy give me a shout out!

San Antonio

2011-05-02T13:44:00.000-07:00

So because I have super spectacular husband I was afforded the great opportunity to go to San Antonio this past weekend for a women's conference as well as to visit some of the historic sites. He was so inspired to send me a day early as well. Because I was able to get in earlier I had a day where I was totally alone. It was nice to be alone with myself and to see the beautiful missions of San Antonio.
As I walked through these amazing areas I realized how sacred each of these locations were. The history and my walk through time were an amazing testament to the people who have resided in this area since long before the American Revolution. It is amazing that these missions are still active parishes of the Catholic church and that mass is said there weekly. Descendants of the original parishioners still live and worship in the area.

The Alamo was astounding as well. It is amazing that around 200 men- mostly NOT from Texas- were able to hold off 20,000 troops from the Mexican Army for 13 days. To be able to visit another U.S. Shrine within the year is an honor. (The first was Pearl Harbor.) The people who died there were defending more than an obscure outpost but the very freedom that we all take for granted from time to time.

I was also able to have my dear friend & my sister join me in San Antonio for Time Out for Women. I have been able to attend this conference when it has come to Denver in years past but this year Ryan will be gone when the conference is here. It is not that the presenters tell me things I don't already know, it's more like they remind me and allow me to have a new perspective.

Between the missions, the conference and my company I was blessed with a great, all be it brief, weekend away. I owe it all to my super awesome husband who KNOWS that sometimes girls night is not enough. Sometimes I need just a bit more....Thanks dear....you rock!!

ADDICTED

2011-04-19T09:09:00.000-07:00

OK so I have a confession to make. I am addicted. No not to sugar or chocolate, well those too, but to a television show. I am in LOVE with Who Do You Think You Are? What you've never heard of it? Well then what kind of friend am I to not expose you to this addiction of mine.

US/UK Logo

It all started last year when a new NBC television show was announced with the premise of following the genealogy of certain famous Americans. Now I may not be a fan of all of the stars that they profile on this television show but the process that they go through is so fascinating that I just can't stop watching.

When the shows started I made the kids be quiet, and later they joined me, so that I could take in every minute detail of the discovery of their roots. As an American who had immigrants as early as the Mayflower and as late as the 1880s it fascinates me how jumbled most Americans' DNA is. It also goes to show that you can NEVER judge a book by it's cover. I mean seriously what is "Jewish" or "Irish" supposed to look like; this show has made it quite apparent that until you look you don't really know who you are.

Australian LOGO

Of course there have only been 2 seasons of the show here in the states but like most things the show did not start here. NOPE it is the brainchild of the BBC, like a lot of my favourite shows. (Yes I meant to spell it that way.)

And in the UK it has been on for years! Allowing me to extend my viewing pleasure, over the internet of course. I was astonished to find out that it has been on in the UK since 2004! This may tide me over until next year here in the US.

Now we "Yanks" aren't the only ones to leach off "Brits". No NO. Actually many countries have their own Who Do You Think You Are? franchises. (Do you hear the angels singing....ahhhh!) I know that I may be overreacting a bit but no other television series has grabbed me like this in a long time.

Canadian Logo

Who Do You Think You Are? to me is a tool that has allowed the world to be exposed to the fascination that we need to all have with where we come from. This simple television show does not sugar coat the past. It allows the researchers to go on a familial treasure hunt for those who sacrificed and suffered, who overcame and lost out so that we can all be here today to honour them.

Ireland LOGO

So I challenge you to give the show a glance and maybe it will inspire you to find the past, YOUR PAST. Who knows what you may find. A criminal or a saint, a king or a conqueror, a bigamist or polygamist? Who knows! Just give it a try, you may find it as addicting as I do. And even if someone else in your family is doing it ALL then ask them to share the information.

Happy hunting!

P.S. For further information click on the following links. If you can't find the shows on youtube.com then try here. Your local libraries may have copies as well

Who Do You Think You Are?UK

Who Do You Think You Are? USA

Who Do You Think You Are? Ireland

Who Do You Think You Are? Canada

Who Do You Think You Are? Australia

Who Do You Think You Are? South Africa

Who Do You Think You Are? Israel

Who Do You Think You Are? also has versions in Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Germany, Finland, Holland, Russia, Poland and possibly others. Not all of these shows are called by the same name but have a similar premise. BBC Wales has another show called Coming Home which is shorter in length but equally riveting.

P.P.S. Some of my favourite episodes:

Hormones....

2011-04-01T10:55:00.000-07:00

So I am going to rant for a minute. Many of my closest friends have heard this but I am going to just put this out there for public consumption.

Image of HGH

There is a crazy diet out there called the HGH or HGC diet. The premise of this diet is that you either inject or swallow a hormone extracted from the urine of pregnant women (at least that's where "they" say it comes from) to suppress hunger while limiting your diet to a mere 500 calories a day. Now I have a multitude of issues with this.
FIRST, anyone who eats only 500 calories will lose weight. Try it for a week and you will see. Not smart but effective.

SECOND, do we not understand what hormones do??? You can go here for a full explanation but basically they control messages sent out to the cells of your body. There are tons of different hormones all with specific purposes. Testosterone, progesterone, estrogen, and on and on. Now if one's hormones go haywire, or in this case we cause them to go haywire, what messages are these hormones sending our cells? Say you have one cell that is trying to change and then BAM it receives a good does of an unusual hormone. What's a defenseless little cell to do but to become ....oh I don't know CANCER!!! Seriously people don't our genes have enough to deal with without us mucking about with it all.

NEXT, growing up in a semi-agricultural background I was very aware of the hyper-criticism of the use of hormones on animals that are a part of our food chain. While I was young the big hoopla was over bovine somatatropin- this is a hormone that some farmers were giving their cattle to increase milk production. The amount that this hormone leached into the milk supply was minimal at best but the alarm was sounded so BST was all but eliminated from use.

The same goes for hormone free chicken, pork products, produce, ect. In any grocery store you go to you will see HORMONE FREE everywhere. IS this good? Probably. But now we stupid humans are skipping the process of even diluting hormones in the food chain and we've gone right to shooting them in our slightly large thigh muscle!

How vain or desperate do you have to be to engage in this type of dieting? I have had family and acquaintances indulge in this for a time and it terrifies me!

Just because HGH occurs "naturally" doesn't mean that tweaking your HGH level is a good idea. In fact I have read that HGH production goes up during sleep. I think since I have about 20-30 pounds I'd like to loose I will just ask for a chemically induced coma. (This explains why my brother is a rail- sleep= HGH.) Well I'm off to take a nap and save $ and lose weight spontaneously. Wish me luck!

Finding joy when joy doesn't find you.....

2011-03-17T22:39:00.000-07:00

So I have a problem- don't we all- I find my job exhausting and often unfulfilling. That being said I must mention that I am a full-time mom so this lack of fulfillment comes with a rather high degree of guilt, remember this is a talent of mine.

So when I came across this article, Why every mom needs a purpose beyond motherhood | Mormon Times, this woman was speaking my language. In the culture which I live there is this understood goal that you will marry and be a wife and mother and if at all possible you will be the primary caregiver by staying at home. I call this sacrificing yourself on the alter of motherhood. However noble and grand this concept may be in practice it is a great deal more complicated. In a world where you don't get noticed unless you are loud and obnoxious being fulfilled and feeling successful by being "just" a mom is nearly impossible.

I want to be the mom who does fun stuff with her kids and doesn't get stressed out. I want to be the mom who can keep the house clean and the kids fed and forget my dreams and yet, what would that tell my kids. It's as if I am an epic hypocrite by saying,"You can be or do anything that you put your mind to." But then I don't do the things that I have always intended to do. Or it teaches them that a clean house is more important than a bed time story.

So here is to FINDING JOY. Sometimes joy seems to just happen but it always takes a great deal of work to get there. The most joyful times in my life took months of hell before I could experience the joy. I intend to make joy a priority and sometimes that means actually giving stuff up...stuff that makes joy a little too hard to find.

This must be the joy I find. The little victories (and the big) that I get to experience because I do have this job & before I know it the job will change and my employers will need me less.

Some glimpses of joy!

Perspective

2011-03-08T22:03:00.001-08:00

So this is the house I grew up in for the bulk of my childhood (1985-1995ish).

This home has 3 bedrooms & 1 bathroom for a grand total of 1041 square feet.

When I saw that the house was this small

(it is currently for sale so this is how I discovered this)

I was floored.

I guess that being a child everything just seemed bigger-

except the ONE bathroom.

(It may be time to mention that there were 2 adults and 5 children

who lived in this home.)

Granted my parents paid under $50K for this house--currently listed at $105K-but still this place is tiny. I thought that my first home was small at about 1440 sq ft. No way.

HOWEVER

Learning this makes me appreciate exactly where I came from.

It was way humbler than I had remembered.

It was simple and had a yard and we had fun here.

The Pecan tree in the front yard gave us pecans to grab during

Hurricane Andrew.

The ditch gave us an instant pool when it rained.

SO we were happy and when we weren't it was OK.

This house was made a home by chaos and craziness and I hope that wherever I live can feel the same way for my kids one day.

(BTW thanks Cherie for letting me know that it was for sale.)

Well Looky HERE

2011-02-22T20:26:00.001-08:00

Learn something new all the time!

BREAD

2011-02-07T12:38:00.001-08:00

So for Christmas my mother-in-law got me a Blendtec mixer; It's like a Bosch and a Vitamix all in one. I was slightly intimidated by this new appliance but now I am in love. I love that I can make a ton of bread and that it warms my house up and the smell is AMAZING.

So now thanks to this lovely machine I am baking bread at least once a week.

This post is making me hungry....good thing there is a loaf ready and waiting. YUM-O!

Genetic Defect

2011-02-05T23:50:00.000-08:00

(This is more for my personal therapy than for any other reason. Read at your own risk!)

While in the womb 32 years ago my genetic destiny was determined. I was destined to be one of the least positive people on the planet. I am not, and if I ever was it was brief, a look on the bright side kind of person. It's not glass half full or half empty it's rather the glass is cracked. I can't get past the condition of the glass to even notice that there is water.
This of course is in direct conflict with my religious convictions which gives me migraines on a frequent basis. I know that the temporal- here and now- stuff is of such little consequence but because of that then I feel why even bother. Why set goals let alone accomplish them? Why kill myself on cleaning my home or sewing or baking or gardening when the house will only get dirty again, the sewing will take forever and fall apart, the baking will make a mess and I'll just have to do more & the garden will be more work and money than it is worth.
I am sure that all of this stems from my being a control freak. I know I have no control over my life but then when that comes to fruition I just get so darn mad! For example, recently my hubby and I sat down and conceived a plan to eliminate our debt. For once this actually seemed doable, even with four kids in tow. Then the laptop dies- that's a cool grand I wasn't planning on spending. ( FYI this is being typed on an iPad.) So now I have two dead laptops and a pc on life-support that might as well be dead. Now this goes back to do I really NEED a computer? Well maybe not BUT in an effort to look on the bright side and try to help delete debt from my life I have taken on some side jobs, besides those that I am not paid for, which require a computer.
So in slips the genetic defect of negativity and criticism.....you know, "this always happens" and "why me"... Seriously irritating. I mean I don't have cancer or even a canker sore right now, so why the attitude! Why can't I just shrug this off and move on?
I guess the answer lies somewhere in the fact that this takes really hard work. I can't treat this like my brain coral tummy and just run more or swim more or eat less or lift more weight. There is really nothing outward that I can do to cure myself, not even happy pills (anti-depressants) work for me. In the end it will be because of my faith in my Savior's Atonement that I will ever be able to be a bit more positive. It will be because I KNOW that only Christ knows this internal drama of mine, the likes of which Shakespeare could not have even imagined. He knows how hard it is for me to put on a smile, get out of bed or even bathe sometimes. He knows how envious I am of those who seem so happy in the midst of monumental tragedy while I hate myself over the stupidest things. He knows how I want to feel that my good enough is actually good enough. He knows how I want to not only accept but believe the compliments that I receive. He knows how terribly insecure I am and how terribly I overcompensate to hide that I am mortal. He knows my regrets and accepts me anyway.
Maybe one day this will be a bit easier. Until then I will try to enjoy the mundane and ignore the aggravating.
(Luckily my negativity was once again unfounded and a great friend of mine was not only able to salvage my laptop but ALL of the files! Miricale- I think yes!)

Get a Load of This

2011-01-27T21:28:00.000-08:00

Recently there was an article written in Salon magazine about Mormon "mommy bloggers". The article was called Why I can't stop reading Mormon housewife blogs by: Debbie Matchar

Seeing as though I fit within the realm of this genre I thought that I should read the afore mentioned article.

So where do I begin?

I think that overall the article is fair but at the same time I was slightly annoyed. Why can't we be "uplifting" in our finding joy in motherhood? Although this is a goal of many LDS women it does not always come easily. No matter how profound our blogs are or how "perfect" our lives may seem there is no denying that LDS women face the same issues as any other sector of the female population. Maybe many of us are just trying to feel a sense of validation that we don't get because we don't get raises or expense accounts or an "at-a-girl" for those well cleaned refrigerators. But over all we have happy well-adjusted lives because we choose to make it that way- medicated or not.

I mean who cares if Utah has the highest percentage of people on anti-depressants. More power to those women who realize that there is an issue and take care of it rather than drowning themselves or their children. As an LDS woman who has dealt with depression this stupid stigma that we are depressed because we are oppressed or unhappy with our lives is hoey. We face the same disappointments and stress as any other woman but we have great highs too. Kids that want to cook with us or actually ask to help clean. Husband's that make us breakfast in bed and bring flowers home from the airport after a long business trip. Parents that encourage us to follow our dreams and remind us where we came from. Siblings who share our background. And friends....FRIENDS that are there when you are barfing day after day during an awful pregnancy. Friends that may move but who you still remember the meal they brought after you had your baby. Friends that come with being LDS because we offer relief...Maybe that's why our organization is called the Relief Society....

I know that it may seem to the outside world that we come off as a little "leave it to beaver-esque" however why would we post about the worst about our lives all the time. Certainly we need to vent and occasionally the blog is that venue but in general we just want to find a way to document our life for family that lives far away, share ideas that we think someone may appreciate, or just store our favorite recipes for friends and family to drool over.

I believe that in this day in age what was once "normal" is now peculiar and Ms. (or Mrs.) Matchar has made this apparent. Nowadays people don't just put off having a family because of money or a home or whatever else but because kids don't fit into their perceived lifestyle. (This of course is completely off topic but HOW SELFISH! I mean now my kids don't just have to worry about caring for me but for the people who chose not to have children! ARGGG! Back to the topic at hand...) Women feel that a home cooked meal is a luxury. Men enjoy eating on the road rather than at home. Kids find friends online rather than with their own siblings.

Unfortunately my life is peculiar ... not everyone sits down to the table for dinner each night as a family. Not everyone grows a garden or cooks game that their husband brings home. Not everyone can take a ham and turn it into nearly 20 different meals. Alas what is normal for me is peculiar to many people.

For all the issues that I have with my life periodically I know that although the grass can seem greener it still needs just as much watering. It still would take the same amount of effort to find happiness and choose to find joy in being a woman, wife, mother, etc.

Secret is OUT

2011-01-20T23:02:00.000-08:00

So my secret is out...I LOVE Goodwill. Yep I shop there like crazy. Books, clothes, shoes, etc., etc.
I shop at Goodwills across the Denver Metro area and know where I can find good stuff. I have a budget and this place helps me to better stick to it. I have many friends who like myself have a budget and want nice stuff, so where do I take them shopping??? Yep that's right Goodwill. I have found many named brands and the best part is that nearly twice a month there is a 50% off everything sale and sometimes there are even 99 cent blue jeans days.
My best buys include but are not limited to- great shoes (found a pair of Steve Madden heals for a friend of mine), fur coat, Coleman Lantern in great condition, kids clothes, NUMEROUS books.
So if you need an outfit may I suggest Goodwill. And if you need help shopping I am always up for dress up.

Music Please

2011-01-08T19:17:00.000-08:00

So Bonnie (of Bonnie and Clyde fame- name changed to protect the innocent) had a piano recital this afternoon. It was quick and easy- which was good since Dear Hubby was unable to attend. She did quite well and we hope this will lead to years of improvement and maybe she can teach her younger brothers Butch and Sundance...

Grandpa...Tell Me 'Bout the Good Ole Days

2011-01-02T22:47:00.000-08:00

If nothing else at least I got this great picture because of Christmas. Thanks JEANE!!!

They Don't Make 'em Like They Used To

2010-12-31T11:59:00.000-08:00

So I LOVE old movies. I love black and white and classics and epics. Recently I finally sat down and watched ALL of Cleopatra with Elizabeth Taylor. It was stunning. I had seen bits and pieces over the years but never the full 4.25 hours. (Nothing like being sick to get something done.) It, like The Ten Commandments, Gone With the Wind and Ben Hur, was literally amazing. Never again will movies like these be made. It's too easy to insert a computer generated image or computer generated extras. Never again will the gist be brought across without gruesome violence and gratuitous sex. Never again will we be able to watch a movie about slavery, adultery, war, etc., etc. without being exposed to just too much.
Alas the old adage that less is more is once again ignored!

Whew!

2010-12-27T15:04:00.000-08:00

Well Christmas is over! THANK GOODNESS!
As predicted it was once again too much. Next year one gift! One meat! One side! One dessert!
Instead we had four meats ( turkey- whole & breast, ham, roast beef & freshly shot goose). Sides- dirty rice, mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potatoes, Butternut squash, cornbread dressing, cranberry sauce, green beans, veggie tray and cheese and crackers....anyone ready to be overly stuffed. Oh wait, then there was dessert. Red velvet cake- three layers, pumpkin pie, mince meat pie with custard, short bread, cheese cake and fruit cake.
This is what happens when you try to please everyone and in the end no one is all that happy and you are just exhausted! So I am done with big Christmases. I think a turkey sandwich will work from now on. In fact I think that I will celebrate Christmas in June and then it's over with. This way I can celebrate the birthday we have on the 29th of Dec with a little more joy.
So here is to my Christmas decorations being down already and to a new year of minimalism. Maybe one day I will enjoy Christmas but for now I will take surviving it.

Tarnished Season

2010-12-16T16:10:00.000-08:00

So it's Christmastime again....I am really not a fan of the holiday season. Don't get me wrong I love to commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ BUT I am pretty sure that me becoming an unbearable shrew is not how Christ would prefer me celebrating His birthday.
I suppose that I just really hate the stress and expectation that comes with the period from Thanksgiving through Christmas. Now that I am an adult I really understand why we NEVER went anywhere for Thanksgiving or Christmas or inflicted/enjoyed a huge family holiday.
Let us analyze this for a second. First we have Thanksgiving. An excuse to add a vomitorium off the back porch as we begin the season of no self-control. We eat and cook and cook and eat. And even if we do not intentionally pursue the holiday pastime of vomiting someone will begin and then it spreads like wildfire. And if by some chance you miss this bullet at Thanksgiving it will certainly hit you at Christmas.
Then as soon as the meal is over and the leftovers put away for a few hours before someone needs a snack, out come the Christmas decorations....WHY? Well because if you don't get it done now it will NEVER get done.

So now comes the fun of putting up lights and reminiscing over all of the cute ornaments from years past, right? Well sorta. I mean lets get real I will never have a Hallmark tree. You know the one that looks perfect and balanced and just, Ahhhh. I mean until this year everything nice was precariously piled at the top of the tree while the lovely satin balls that become unravelled at the slightest glance graced the bottom 2/3 of the tree. Sadly even though I knew better than to tempt fate I did and several lovely glass ornaments have been - well obliterated!
Now that the tree is up someone- me and my sister since hubby is never home and is in school- has to do the obligatory hanging of lights in the yard and off of the house. (Seriously who thought that this was a good idea. I mean this is not something they did with candles and lanterns pre-Electricity, did they?) AS you learn new methods of self-torture like wondering how many outlets you can plug together or if you are wearing the appropriate foot attire to not slip of the roof- nearly did this one- you feel a sense of accomplishment. My house looks good....Until the neighbors turn on their light show and you realize that they must make gobs more money than you thought because your electric bill will be high BUT their's will certainly be higher. DRAT!

Now if you are slightly insane/brave/overachieving then you shop on BLACK Friday. You go through every ad to see what "deals" are out there and what applies to your kids. Now you've made a budget and you are going to stick to it this year, right? But then you circle this and look at that and then you realize that as Dudley Dursley taught us From Harry Potter that it doesn't matter how big they are but how many. Therefore if you have four gifts for one then there must be four for ALL. It doesn't matter that one gift for one was nearly twice that of the remaining gifts, numbers count.

So now you consider your Christmas card selection. Now if you were on top of it you took a family portrait prior to there only being 6 hours of daylight and you can insert this into a lovely pre-designed card and be halfway there. If not get ready for a great case of carpul-tunnel. So you then have to find your holy grail, you know the ADDRESS BOOK. This small piece of arcane technology causes you more headaches and ulcers at Christmas than at any other time of year. You rarely ever use it but it is essential to your ability to fully include all of those friends and long lost family members that will certainly be peeved that you forgot them or sometimes grateful beyond words. AS you rack your brain as to where it is you decide to make an educated guess as to the number of cards to order to fully suffice but not exceed your needs. Who wants an extra 20-25 cards lying around? Not me! And then hallelujah you find the book!!! Good thing you ordered those 100 cards from COSTCO- despite the lack of faith in that number that your husband expressed. Now just pray that all of your addresses in your aforementioned ADDRESS BOOK are correct.

Now the meal. First you must consider the number of people attending your meal an whether they are adults or children- this year we will have 17 people for dinner; 13 adults and four children. You must consider likes, dislikes, traditions, cost,etc. And you are still not guaranteed that the soon to be three year old will eat anything other than candy canes.

Well, finally the day comes. The morning breaks and mom rolls out of bed and makes breakfast. We try to hold back the tide of ancy kiddos and have some spiritual focus before the ripping of paper and watching of Christmas movies. And that's when it happens...yep the stress diminishes for just a minute like blowing on a piece of silver and rubbing the tarnish off. There it is a glimpse- even if just for a minute- of ...oh what is that word...JOY. You no longer care that you have spent too much, stressed too much, ate too much and will be eating more. All that you know is that you are with those you love and that maybe Christmas really isn't that bad.

2010-12-10T08:24:00.000-08:00

Thought of You from Ryan J Woodward on Vimeo.

Mount Up

2010-12-06T22:37:00.000-08:00

So I was super lucky to find the most amazing lady to teach Christi English riding. Christi has become quite the horsewoman. She has no fear and gets back up even if she falls.
Her seat is great and she has learned to post so well. Now this may be so foreign to many but I hope that you enjoy the video!

Need a little Christmas?

2010-12-06T22:07:00.000-08:00

So last year two of my friends and I started an AWESOME holiday tradition. The Marathon Gingerbread house night. Now we use graham crackers but it is a blast. A little Chili for dinner to get the creative juices flowing and a little family Christmas music celebration and we are off to the races with egg nog in hand.
Enjoy this years parade of homes.

Jeane was my partner in crime since Ryan was gone- as usual. It was great to have her here with us.

Here is our plantation inspired house!

Michael's Dr. Who inspired Tardis house! (Complete with a Dalek out front!)

Christi's house with Barn. ( Every adult, all 6 of us helped raise that barn.)

James' homage to the trailer- only single wide though.

Willy's crazy pentagon house!

Riley's Castle with moat.

Julie's alpine cottage.

Next year I am thinking....the Pantheon or Washington Monument....Notre Dame! I can't wait!

Pet Peeve(s)

2010-11-12T13:04:00.000-08:00

Ok so most if not all of my pet peeves have to do with me losing my mind. There are a lot of things that I do to drive myself nuts. Mainly it's just because I forget stuff and it causes me to become annoyed.
Below are some of my top pet peeves.

* No clean bra after a sweaty workout. Periodically I will run on the treadmill at the gym. For the most part I take advantage of showering uninterrupted at the gym. This is all great until- DUM DUM DUM- I go to get dressed and realized that I brought all clean clothing accept the most essential piece of a ladies "discreet" clothing.

* Being late. Now I really don't care if others are late unless they make a big stink about me being somewhere on time. BUT I HATE BEING LATE. I hate this so much that I am usually early. It just drives me nuts to tell someone I will be somewhere and then not.

* Forgetting to get things I really need while at the store. I hate going and then usually as I am exiting the store I realize that I have forgotten at least 2 things that brought me to the store in the first place. STINK!

Bad Habit!!!

2010-10-11T18:34:00.000-07:00

So I caught Sundance having a snack.....Ooops! I guess that they are ALWAYS watching.

Garden Bounty

2010-10-11T18:19:00.000-07:00

So although it snowed in mid-May, I was gone nearly all of June, I was sick most of July, school started in August, I went to Chicago in September and Utah a week ago....somehow the garden still grew. Not as much as we would have liked but still we got quite a haul.

The kids love the fact that we grow our own pumpkins.

No lettuce or spinach but the carrots grew! So that means carrot birthday cake this month! And although my house isn't in the cleanest condition and I have a Christmas tree up already....at least we have food to eat.
Yummy! (Now on to more canning and dehydrating.)

"Of things That Matter Most"

2010-10-04T12:43:00.000-07:00

I had the privilege this weekend to hear this talk this past Saturday. It has taught me that I need to slow down...for me this entails a bit of a speed up before I can slow down. For instance, My house in a constant state of FLUX between almost clean and disastrous. This is annoying, exhausting and frustrating. I obviously lack some genetic propensity for organization. I can clean and sterilize BUT putting things where they belong and not losing them- not me.

So as I try to SLOW DOWN. This week/month will be a mad tare to get things organized, inventoried and clean! I can no longer function with daily chaos and the disorganization is about tho drive me MAD.

Hopefully I can learn to slow down and enjoy the most important things once my life is in some semblance of order. (It would be easier if little people would keep their rooms clean too.)

So here is to a future date with relaxation.

CHI-town

2010-09-21T23:12:00.000-07:00

Chicago

Very rarely are moms able to get away from everything. However due to having a superior husband who loves me way more than I deserve I was afforded and took the opportunity to go to Chicago to visit an amazing friend!
I went with two other great friends and had a memorable weekend that will have to be repeated again sometime.
There was laughter and tears. Walking and blisters. Food and fun. And as much as we did there is more to go back for. What a great time we all had!
Nothing was better than coming home to an awesome husband who surely worked miracles while being with our kids full-time.
Thanks Ry for encouraging this and making me go!

(Click on the image above for a full album!)

21st Century Mom

2010-09-09T19:10:00.000-07:00

So in one week 2 of my best friends and I are going to CHICAGO to see another super awesome friend. Now we have been planning this trip since we found out that our friend was moving to Chicago. Now that we are actually going we have gotten a bit of negative Karma about it.
It's like people think our husbands are completely inept at parenting our collective 10 children.
SERIOUSLY!
These three men are college graduates, successful in their fields, awesome husbands & fathers, and completely competent. I would go so far to say that because they are such awesome husbands they fully encouraged this trip(mine demanded that I go). And if they aren't assuming that our husbands aren't up to being full-time parents then they must feel that we are less than stellar mothers/wives for going.
To that I give a big fat RASPBERRY :P

We will be better wives and moms for going. I know for one I will appreciate that my husband recognized that he gets to go to many interesting places while on business trips while I get to shuttle kids in the car and eat leftovers and do the mundane.

Thanks babe for being conscientious enough to see that one weekend with the girls is what I need to endure weeks without you. Thanks for realizing that I am a person and not just a wife and mom. Thanks for encouraging this because lets face it, I would have never gone without you totally planning this and talking it up!

So in one week I will be in CHI-town and my kids will be safe at home with dad! CHICAGO here we come!

Ahh...Football Season

2010-09-06T14:08:00.001-07:00

Need a laugh? I do

2010-08-20T11:37:00.000-07:00

Picture to Share

2010-08-16T21:31:00.001-07:00

You know it is amazing to me how important a picture can be. Seeing an image of someone you never met can make you wonder about their life. Whenever I see this picture I think about how awesome our country is in that we can have headstones in nearly every language in the world on US soil. AMAZING!

Finding Family

2010-08-05T08:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes finding even a distant relation makes you appreciate your family much more.

Good Things to Come

2010-07-29T13:55:00.000-07:00

Good-Things-to-Come

It isn't always easy to recognize that what we are going through is temporary. It isn't always easy to see a silver lining n the darkest of clouds. I hope that one day I can look back and say, "I am glad I went through that. I wouldn't change a thing..." BUT that day is not today.

So until then I will hang on and enjoy the glimpses of joy that I get each day.

3mm PAIN

2010-07-20T20:18:00.000-07:00

So last Thursday, July 15th, I took my kids to the park. When we got home and ate lunch around noon I started to have a pain in my groin area. I just thought that it was annoying and that I needed to visit the ladies.

NO RELIEF.

Then I though I must have pulled something.

NOPE.

Then my back started to hurt a bit. I began to be a bit worried. I texted my brother who had to have his appendix removed and he began to implore me to go to the hospital. I agreed.

Luckily we are surrounded by friends from church and I just had to pick. Luckily one of those friends works in the Radiology department of a hospital and luckily he was home.

I drove up and told the kids to just walk in and tell them that mom needed help and had to go to the hospital.

(In about 4.5 hours my pain went from annoying to unbearable to excruciating!)

JOHN WORLAND my medic rushed me to the nearest hospital and correctly diagnosed me as having a kidney stone(s)- eventhough we weren't sure for hours later. He helped me get checked into the hospital and soon after Ryan arrived. Good thing too.

I was begging for drugs like crazy and crying and vomiting. They couldn't move fast enough!!

I wanted to DIE! I am not kidding. It was so overwhelming and so painful that I just knew that I couldn't endure much more. I knew I wouldn't die but boy I wanted to.

So they finally gave me Zofran for my nausea and vomiting and some Fentanyl for the pain. This was no help! After three injections of Fentanyl they finally got the idea that it wasn't working. On to the Toradol- now this worked long enough for me to get a CAT scan but wore off in the middle of an uterine ultra-sound.

PAIN!!!

Finally, I was given Percecet/Oxycodone for my pain and Fenegrine for my continued nausea and vomiting. The doctors never told me what was going on and I was in and out of sleep. My pain decreased but I could manage and by 10pm the nurse came in to tell me that they were discharging me and that I had a kidney stone. No one told me how big the thing was or where it was located and I knew if I went home I wouldn't pass this on my own.

As the nurse gave me the prescriptions and discharge orders I began to cry. I knew Ryan was leaving in a few days and that if I went home to do this alone with my kids to take care of I was in for some trouble. But I was tired and I didn't fight them so I went home.

From Thursday, July15th- Sunday, July18th I went between my bed and the bathroom. I ate no solid foods because I just would vomit it up anyway. What liquids I tried to ingest I only was able to keep 1/2 down and so things were bad. I was even vomiting up the meds that I was supposed to take.

At one point the Oxycodone wore off while I was asleep and I had this dream that I had been shot. When I woke up my right kidney was killing me and no matter how I tried to sleep on a heating pad nothing made me comfortable.

By 3:30pm on the 18th I had finally convinced Ryan that the ER was better than Urgent Care even if it was $250. I just had to get back to the hospital! It was killing me to be in pain and killing me more to know we had no money for any of this!

Luckily, we had my sister come to the hospital to sit with me while Ryan took the kids to his parents' house.

Here we go again...Once I got through triage and into a room- right across the hall from my previous room- I told the nurse the deal. NO wasting time with all these narcotics that DO NOT WORK for me. Thankfully she listened DILAUDID...oh what nice juice. I finally could feel no pain. It was so glorious.

Luckily the doctor who was on Thursday night was on again Sunday. When he came in he proceeded to tell us what we should have been told by SOMEBODY on Thursday. Apparently I have two ureters off of my right kidney that then join back into a single ureter near the bladder. Not crazy abnormal but not normal either. He then told me I had a fever- code for infection- and that I would probably need another CAT scan - code more $$.

So after another CAT scan with dye indicator this time I was told that I had a 3mm stone near my bladder but that it hadn't moved...at all. STINK!

After 6 hours in the ER- again in and out of sleep- I was admitted so that they could watch the infection. WHEW! I should have done that on Thursday!

After a night of sleep and about 20 gallons of IV fluids Ouila! a kidney stone is born....

It looked like a bb or a fishing weight. Kinda crazy.

Unfortunately the passing of my little friend did not give me a get out of jail free card. NOPE! Dang infection meant another 24 hours of BOREDOM! Sitting in a hospital bed getting pumped with fluids and antibiotics.

(Hospital beds are a unique form of torture. NO way to get comfy unless all drugged up. )

So I just chilled out being weaned off of the pain meds and getting poked and prodded for 24 more hours. Until finally at 11am on Tuesday (July 20th) I was FREE. I nearly skipped to the car.

So I'm on the mend. Sore kidney, frustrated that the mail will soon contain a FANTASTIC medical bill(s) but overall I'm alive. And thankfully Ryan was in town while this was all going down and I escaped without surgery! So here is to the silver lining in this cloud.

Imagine 100 years ago or even 60 years ago I would be dead and that costs more that a hospital bill- I hope?

If it's not one thing

2010-07-19T19:39:00.000-07:00

So I got a kidney stone....I wanted to die...And I probably would have if I wouldn't have gone to the ER twice........Passed stone....alive...sorta....hospitals are like voluntary prisons. Hopefully I can get out of the hospital and the house before July is over.....Thanks for the prayers

SEE June 15th post

2010-07-06T17:04:00.000-07:00

To see a full post on our Hawaii trip see the June 15th post.

This week I PROMISE

2010-07-06T10:22:00.000-07:00

OK ...I know I need to get Hawaii up SOON! Well after a week of vomiting and being so sick that I had to pull the "Fly Home NOW" card for the first time ever I think that I can get this done....I hope.

UPcoming

2010-06-21T16:22:00.001-07:00

Because I can't just neglect my responsibilities for days on end, a full post about Hawaii is in progress. Please check back SOON!
(Plus I have about 2,000 pictures to go through.)

Hawaii: June 6th - June13th

2010-06-15T13:02:00.000-07:00

Being able to visit Hawaii is an amazing experience. Of course you think "I could move here" and then you realize that you only think that because you aren't living "real life" while there. You aren't working to afford the average $600K home or the gasoline or the milk and so it is glorious to visit, but living in Hawaii would not be relaxing.

I would miss snow after a while and 14,000ft mountains. So I will always love visiting Hawaii but living there not so much.

This trip was a great chance to remember that I love my husband and that we get along for the most part ! ) It was an adventure that maybe one day when the kids will actually appreciate it we can share with them.

So here is our adventure- enjoy!

Our Hotel

Open Waiting Area

Room Similar to Ours

Our first day(6 June 2010) we got there with hours to kill and so we walked down to a nearby diner to eat as the "locals" do. OH MY Goodness...the plate lunch is HUGE ....Seriously I couldn't even imagine finishing all of that food. The diner was called the Rainbow Drive-In and just as we walked around the corner there was a beautiful REAL rainbow right above the diner....good omen!

We should have taken a picture of what we ate but here is a similar image....

Usually a plate lunch has 1-2 LARGE scoops of rice, 1 scoop of macaroni salad and a MEAT and if that meat has a sauce it is smothered in it...DANG! I felt bad not finishing that much food- espescially with all of the homeless that we saw- but I just couldn't do it.

As we walked through Waikiki we saw these stores everywhere...

Apparently there are 47 ABC stores in the 1 sq. mile that makes up the Waikiki section of Honolulu. That's a lot of beach mats! These are a life saver when you don't want to pay $5.00 for a glass of milk at the hotel...instead you can pay $5.00 for a 1/2 gallon. But that's the cost of paradise.

I guess that the cost is worth it though when you have a view like this from your hotel room.

Monday, 7 June 2010

We woke up and went to this breakfast/hit you up for all the money you don't have thing. It was a bit of a shock to be hit up for tour...after tour....after tour...and we learned quick that this wasn't for us but the guy had us trapped. (Lesson: NOTHING is FREE)

After we escaped we went to another tour/hit you up for money that was kinda interesting but come on people...

Finally, we were able to go to the Polynesian Cultural Center. Oh what an awesome and inspired place to visit.

The history of the people represented and of the area is so phenomenal. I could have spent three days there. Learning about the Pacific Islanders and their culture was an amazing experience.
We were able to see the canoe parade in the afternoon and then take a canoe ride of our own after visiting several of the villages.

New Zealand/Aoatera

Tahitian

Hawaiian

Samoan village

Our favorite village was SAMOA. The people that did the demonstrations were entertaining and funny. The main man was named "CAP" and he was hilarious. He made you smile and appreciate his culture- Samoan's have amazing personalities!

Cap is also the main fire and knife dancer at the show that is performed at the PCC.

On the Canoe

We then had a super yummy luau. Complete with poke (po-KAY), poi (poy), kaluah pork, tarro rolls (they are like potato rolls but PURPLE) and of course pineapple YUM!!!

And entertainment!!!

The Pig

After dinner we took a short ride through BYU-Hawaii and over to the Laie Temple. It was so beautiful and the history of the LDS church in the area was so interesting and inspirational. The temple is finishing renovations so we were unable to go inside but just to be there was spectacular.

After our visit to the temple we were able to enjoy a show called: HA: The Breath of Life. It was performed in an outdoor amphitheater and highlighted all of the Polynesian islands represented at the center. It was spectacular!!!

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

So we slept in after a long night and headed over to Leonard's for some Malasadas- Portuguese donuts. They were so yummy! About the sized of a glazed donut but filled and covered in sugar!

Oh malasadas! (Since the taxi ride was a bit pricey we just walked back to our hotel.)

Then we got ready for our submarine ride. We boarded a boat and met the sub just off the coast. Although it wasn't as spectacular as expected it was interesting and fun and plus we were able to learn about some of the fish that we would see more of as we snorkeled around the island. (If I had to do it over again I would just have snorkeled more and saved the money...Live and learn!)

After our sub ride we rented a car and went out for our first ride around the island and a first try at snorkeling. We found some secluded beaches and watched, waded and snorkeled. It was a great adventure and the scenery was AMAZING!

Renting a car is certainly expensive but it was so worth it. We could go where we wanted, when we wanted. We could go out for a long time or a short time. IT was well worth the cost!

Black Sand Beach

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Pearl Harbor

We knew that Pearl Harbor was an all day affair, so we woke up early and were at the base by 7:30 am and got tickets for the 10:30am (earliest available) taxi to the USS Arizona.

While we waited to go to the Arizona we toured the USS Bowfin- the submarine docked at the base.
It was so interesting to see the inner workings of a submarine. To realize how many men were crammed in these boats and understand how fast they could maneuver was astounding.
There were bunks right above the torpedos! Could you imagine your son sleeping on top of a torpedo?
Thankfully it wasn't too warm but I could only imagine how it was with all those men crammed in there and the adrenaline pumping.

After touring the entire submarine we had the honor of being taxied out to the USS Arizona. I am a big WWII freak and I love learning about the history of the time period so this was something that I had always wanted to do. It was an honor to be able to pay respect to the 1177 seamen and marines who are entombed within the USS Arizona.

It was emotional to see the oil still rising to the surface as if the Arizona is still bleeding nearly 70years after the fact. It was interesting to find out that men are still choosing to be interred within the Arizona and the process that it takes to make the ship their final resting place.

After our visit to the Arizona memorial we boarded a bus and went to Ford Island to see theUSS Missouri or Mighty MO. This ship is where the surrender of Japan was signed at the close of WWII. To be on this battleship and see how massive it is gave such perspective to how large the Arizona was. (Mind Blowing!)

It was a beautiful view but it was a bit scary to realize that there were so many ships this size in this harbor and that so many lives were lost so quickly.

It is an amazing place to visit. To drive through Hickam Airfield and walk aboard the ships is to walk through history. You can nearly hear the ghosts of the memories that were made in these places.

USS Arizona in background

They still use rope to secure these massive ships!

After a long day at Pearl Harbor we went to the swap meet for some deals on Hawaiian goods- great place to shop but a lot of the same stuff.

Finally, we got back to the hotel and Ryan took me out to my first Japanese Steak House. It was so entertaining and yummy too. It is always a good sign that there are native Japanese at a Japanese restaurant, right?

Thursday, 10 June 2010
A day to be lazy....You would think that we would be on the beach all the time but until this day we hadn't really spent that much time on the water. It was certainly time to change that. Ryan decided he wanted to take a surfing lesson and so I thought that I'd just chill on the beach and watch- or at least try to watch him, it was packed! However, there was a slight issue when we got to our spot!

We had just missed the MAJOR jellyfish invasion but they were still about so this is what we encountered. Not to be deterred Ryan was off! I was so proud that he was willing to try anything!

He even got up!

He had no idea the board was that BIG!

The surf class- guess who the instructor is?

Surfing is not without it's dangers though!

It was a beautiful day to be on the beach!

At the end of our long day we had a sunset dinner cruise. It wasn't too high end but it was fun and affordable. It was nice to be able to see Waikiki Beach from the water and to experience the sunset by boat.

The show was nice but the other tourists were hilarious!

Aloha Tower

Dancer on dinner cruise!

Friday, 11 June 2010

King Kamehameha Day

Unknown to us the 10th of June is a state holiday in Hawaii. Complete with everyone off of work and a parade. Well we got up early and took a hike to one of the waterfalls used in one of my favorite tv shows LOST. It was sooo cool. You wouldn't even remember that you were in the middle of a cemetery in Honolulu with the highway just above you. It was a great easy hike and the falls were so gorgeous!

After our hike we headed to the North Shore. We stopped at a botanic garden in Wahiawa. The vegetation is amazing there!

As we continued on we drove through the DOLE Pineapple plantation! Look at that Red Dirt!

Finally we got hungry and stopped in Haleiwa at the Bluewater Shrimp Truck- oh it was so yummy! And to top it off we got a shaved ice at Matsumoto's....I love souvenir eating!

After a good lunch we were off to snorkel some more. While driving around trying a place to park- it was a holiday- we saw dolphins leaping out of the water. It was so awesome!

Then we found it TURTLE BEACH!!!! Nearly 20 turtles-maybe more- feeding right on the rocks!

Beach just North of Turtle Beach

HI ya!

It was Ryan's favorite thing of the entire trip!

Close-up!

It was so crazy to be snorkeling along and BAM there is a turtle right in front of you. They are hard to avoid too. One last beach at Waimea Bay and we snorkeled some more! It is the most relaxing thing that I have done in quite some time. So peaceful and quiet. It was so easy to lose track of time!

So after a long day we grabbed some more shrimp, a chocolate haupia (coconut) pie and headed back to the hotel.

But not to be missed was the sunset!

Saturday, 12 June 2010

So we woke up early on Saturday and headed to Hanuama Bay. This is a nature preserve and it gets packed early and it is easy to see why with all the awesome fish we saw while there.

After an hour an a half we were off to go Kayaking. Good thing to because the people were coming in hoards!

We headed up to Kaneohe Bay and Kayaked around. IT was a little frightening to be on the open water but it was also AMAZING! I will definitely do that again!We kayaked out to a bird preserve called flat island!

After kayaking we visited one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. The Byodo-In Buddhist Temple. Near Kaneohe this temple is an exact replica of a temple in Japan that is over 900years old.

The temple is located in another cemetery called the Valley of the Temples and is towards the back right against the mountains. It is so peaceful and quiet.

After a peaceful drive back to Honolulu in the convertible that we rented we drove through the Punchbowl Cemetery.

And as we exited the cemetery we took this great drive on Tantalus Drive above Honolulu. It was amazing!

It was like being in the middle of a jungle...we had vines hanging above us and bamboo everywhere. Once at the top we stopped at Puu Ualakaa Park. The view was spectacular! We could see 25 miles of coast line...So breathtaking and nearly free- just the cost of gas!

On the way back to the hotel we stopped by Iolani Palace and the King Kamehameha Statue in downtown Honolulu.

Sunday, 13 June 2010

With a red-eye flight not until 10pm we had time for a few more activities. First, was church. The building was beautiful and it was great to be able to go to church and have it be the same as at home.

This Tabernacle is so beautiful!

Then we were off first to another botanic garden.And then to the Kualoa Ranch. Another LOST sight. It is a historic ranch where movies like Jurrasic Park have been filmed. While at the ranch we went for a nice little horseback ride. I love seeing the world from atop a horse. You just get a different perspective.

Finally we saw the Pan Pacific Parade.

Oh and I saw John Locke(Terry O'Quinn) from LOST.

We got a free meal because the kitchen messed up and we headed home. Back to reality.

But seeing as it has taken me a month to blog about Hawaii reality obviously bit me in the behind when I got home. The next weekend I flew to Utah. Came home again and then drove to Utah again and after that I spent the last week of June and first part of July sick as a dog and wanting to die! So Aloha Hawaii trip. Thanks for the great time with my sweetheart but I think I'll have to take some time to recover before I can return.

We did a lot. We snorkeled at six or seven different beaches and saw several botanic gardens. We ate at Shrimp trucks all over the island and gained a new appreciation for my cost of living. I would certainly do it again and above all I am glad I bought a guide book and used coupons. It always makes a trip better to save money and know where you are going.

Hawaii

2010-06-12T13:38:00.000-07:00

So we head back late tomorrow and reality is starting to bite me in the behind. Having to face cleaning and bills and life is daunting. So hard to face reality...What if reality isn't real?

Memorial Day, Trip #1

2010-06-02T12:13:00.001-07:00

Mt. Rushmore and the Family

We only live about 6 hours from this awesome National Memorial. It was an awesome experience. It was great to show the kids how different people sacrificed so much for our country. From these four presidents to the sculptors who took years out of their life to make certain that this monument would stand the test of time.

Rushmore @ Night

It's awesome to visit these places with kids because they asked the best questions. For instance Child #1 kept asking, "Why is it called Rushmore?"

Do you know, huh do ya? Well I didn't so we found a helpful Ranger who explained that it was Mt. Rushmore before the carvings were there- named after a guy called Rushmore. So imagine you decided to carve a huge Buddah on Mt. Everest...the mountain would still be named Mt. Everest.

It was great to hike around the mountain and see where the models were kept for the mountain. To learn about the entire process was an awe inspiring experience. To learn that it took 16 years to complete this great undertaking was so interesting.

Ever notice George has a shirt and collar?

The white spot under Teddy's chin is a mountain goat.
I think it would have been cool if Jefferson's hair could be red rocks.
Honest ABE. He was almost sculpted without a beard.

Although this was the focal point of our trip we did visit other sites as well. In fact if South Dakota had any jobs I'd move there. It was quite pretty.

So we also visited Wind Cave National Park:

We saw wildlife: Bison, burros-yep they are wild, turkeys, big horned sheep

The Bison were everywhere!!

These guys came right up to the van and we got to pet them.

Ran right across the road in front of us in Custer State Park

Just chillin' in the shade.

It was all in all a great trip and we all survived even though I almost walked home from Nebraska...but that's another story all together; )

Traveling Salesman

2010-05-25T21:10:00.000-07:00

So Mr. Norris flies to one spot and then drives and drives and drives...My biggest worry is getting a call from some sheriff somewhere saying that he's been in an accident....But seeing that he makes the time to be able to visit spots like this I think that he'll be ok.

Who You Are...

2010-05-24T23:25:00.000-07:00

I often have these lyrics run through my mind as I face each day.

A friend gave me a copy of this song on tape about a million years ago

when tape was still used and it was what I needed.

Sometimes we just need to be reminded that the right choice is rarely the easy choice.

So here is getting up tomorrow and making some more hard choices.

We are way more awesome than we give ourselves credit for.

by: Hilary Weeks

I know you wonder if you'll ever have a day

when the kids stay calm, the laundry's done, and the dishes are put away.

And sometimes you feel like your days are spent and gone

and the question running through your mind is what have I gotten done?

And when you finally have a moment to slow down at the end of you day

I know Father would say

Believe in what you're doing

Believe in who you are

Hold tight to the truth that you're a daughter of God

Believe in who you're becoming

Believe in who you are

It may seem simple - all the little things you do.

But the lives you touch matter so much.

And there's no one else like you.

And Father needs you to stand tall and faithful to be all you can be.

Oh, if you could see what he sees.

You'd believe in what you're doing

You'd believe in who you are

Hold tight to the truth that you're a daughter of God

Believe in who you're becoming

Believe in who you are

When it's hard to believe in yourself and you feel like you're beginning to doubt

Remember

He believes in what you're doing

He believes in who you are

Don't lose sight of the truth that you're a daughter of God

That he believes in who you're becoming

He believes in who you are...

The Invisible Woman

2010-05-21T17:23:00.000-07:00

I LOVE this video!!!

Summer CRAZINESS

2010-05-19T23:44:00.000-07:00

So where are you going this summer? Our summer is packed and it hasn't even started yet. There will be some of this.

A lot of this

and this...

There is a little bit of this....

Oh and this one week....

and this the next....

Plus we have a lot of this....

and maybe a we can squeeze in some of these...

Most of all though I just want a little of this...

Hope your summer is equally fun and that we all see Labor Day in one piece ; )

Peace..& Quiet

2010-05-19T23:39:00.001-07:00

Here is Peace.....

AND

Here is QUIET!!!!

Why is it that is seems so hard to find these moments...

What awesome kids & what a tender mercy!

Motherhood

2010-05-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

Find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood

This morning I have had this quote going through my mind as the following occurred:

Puppy pooped in bed

Three year old breaks a dozen eggs

Nine year old doesn't listen

Six year old doesn't want to brush hair

I have come to the conclusion that I have to FIND the nobility and joy.

The joy doesn't just happen.

If/when it does if I am not finding it then I'll miss it.

With the passing of Mother's Day on Sunday I have realized that motherhood is the hardest job that anyone will ever do or want to do.

So much of what we do is ignored or just expected and therefore NOT appreciated.

No one will say thanks for making sure I have shoes to wear

Thanks for making sure we didn't bounce checks

Thanks for feeding me... and my dog.... and my crab

Thanks for not doing the stuff you really want to do so that you are

ALWAYS there

Thanks for reminding me to bathe

You won't hear that

BUT

if you are really lucky you will have a toddler that screamed for an HOUR

snuggle up with you and you won't even care that you are in the middle of figuring out what is for dinner

you will be able to have a child wrap their arms around you and say

"I LOVE YOU"

your daughter will willingly play with her little brothers for an hour so you can think for 2 seconds

AND

if you are really lucky....

you will survive another day and know it ended better than it started.

So here is to hoping that my day ends better than it started!

Reminiscing on TREES

2010-05-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

So while listening to Kathryn Stockett last night she said something that has been on my mind all night and now all morning.
Ms. Stockett: There is so much sky here. It is just beautiful and goes on and on. (to paraphrase.)
Yes, Ms. Stockett we have sky but you, you have TREES. Trees that Mother Nature herself raised up and no landscaper or builder had to plant. Trees that drink water like we drink in air. Trees so big and beautiful. Trees that say climb me, hang a tire swing, lay in my immense branches. Trees that droop to the ground and reach to the sky. Trees that catch misteltoe and Spanish moss that looks like the grey mane of a distinguished woman.
Oak trees that are so large a tree house would be a mansion in it's great branches. Bald cypress trees that have lived through war, hurricanes, tornadoes, drought and keep on going.
Pine trees that reach heavenward and beg to have you climb to the top and hang precariously as the wind blows and you stretch to see to the end of the block over the other trees.

Magnolias that say touch my waxy leaves and smell my beautiful flowers. Crepe Myrtles that have delicate buds that if you know how to you can make blossom in your hand.

Oh how I miss the trees that were my childhood playground. There is nothing better than hiding in the branches of a tree. Climbing higher and higher each year in the neighborhood pine trees. Picking pecans during the eye of a hurricane so they won't all blow away. Walking through a jungle of trees on little trails that only us kids could fit through. Passing a gardenia and having the fragrance fill your senses. Seeing trees that were once mere bushes. Having color from azaleas & blue hydrangeas that you didn't even have to try to grow.

I wish that my kids had that. Even though they don't, during our last snow storm- two weeks ago- Son #1 crawled under the willow bush to knock of the snow and exclaimed, "Mom it's beautiful under hear." What would he think of my trees?

Meeting an Author

2010-05-05T20:42:00.001-07:00

Thanks to The Denver Post I was able to find out that Kathryn Stockett was going to be at a local bookstore doing a Q&A and book signing. Kathryn Stockett is the breakout author of The Help - which I previously posted about. I am not usually one to go to these type of things but Mr. Norris was in town and I thought what the heck.
I arrived at the Tattered Cover in Highlands Ranch and grabbed my number and my seat waiting for about an hour to hear Ms. Stockett's lovely voice. She was indeed a lovely lady and answered some good questions.
* She was rejected about 60 times for this book! Amazing the tenacity this little lady has. Boy do those publishers and agents hate themselves now.
* The cover with the 3 little birds has absolutely NOTHING to do with the story. No hidden meaning. No unique perspective. NOTHING! To quote Ms. Stockett:
"We found a lovely black and white picture of a black hand holding a white child's hand. I thought it was perfect but everyone was worried that people would think that the book was about race. (eyes roll) So after 60 rejections and going through tons of covers I didn't give a rat's (you know what- my substitution) what the cover looked like.
* She did not model Skeeter after herself. As she stated, "Skeeter was homely"
* She writes books about women for women and so the men are secondary. She modeled Skeeter's daddy after her grandfather and just wanted him to be considered a really good man.
* There is a movie coming and Steven Speilberg has picked it up. The lady who does the voice of Minnie on the audio book will be Minnie in the Movie.
* She is working on another book for women about women. Probably in the next three years. This will also be set in Mississippi but during the Depression.

Although I didn't get to ask my question in the general forum I did ask it when I got up to get my book signed. So what was my profound question?????
Are you gonna do a cookbook of Minnie's recipes?
She said that she hasn't really thought about it but that if she were to do it the proceeds would go to a charity. So email her and ask her for those recipes and then maybe it will happen.

It was interesting to hear how she came to be an author and it even made me think, could I do that?

I am NOT my BODY ... or my Mind

2010-05-04T12:56:00.000-07:00

Many of you have heard the story of Stephanie Nielson (nieniedialogues.blogspot.com). (This woman is AMAZING!) She has an outlook and perspective on life that I long for... She can embrace the small and ignore the unimportant better than anyone else that I have ever seen.
After posting about my thighs and thinking about how unnecessarily some of us augment our bodies or worry about them this video made me pause. I am not my body!!! And even more importantly I am not my mind. I can lose both and I will still be a daughter of GOD! I can go through awful situations and it does not matter how terrible things become it only matters how I deal with it...There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I just have to keep my eyes open!
(Thanks Cara for sharing this with me! You ROCK!)

5 Things NOT to do....

2010-04-29T13:29:00.000-07:00

So I always make to do lists in an effort to actually accomplish things. So far I don't seem to be successful with this ideology. So I thought I would make a NOT To DO list...unfortunately it seems as though reverse psychology is the name of my game and I have been doing the things on this list. So much for best laid plans.

NOT TO DO:
1. Don't look at thighs while at water aerobics.
I noticed the other day how IMMENSE my thighs appear under the water. This is the fact for most of the human race. HOWEVER when one is about 37 days from going to Hawaii one becomes overly self-conscious of such things. Now it seems no matter how hard I try not to observe the vastness of my upper leg I DO- dangit!

2. Clean house...Now don't get me wrong I do clean my house but every time I do I lose things. Case in point- we cleaned like crazy last weekend. I thought that I had put a bill in a "safe place". Alas the bill is MIA- dangit!

3. YELL- so I have a bad temper...I get upset and frustrated and I often yell, plus no one listens until mom yells SOOOO....I don't want to but- when a dog jumps on a child, or a child jumps on a child or I bust my butt cleaning only to have various creatures under 4 feet tall destroy such efforts...Well I yell- dangit!

4. Eat Sweets- I have a sweet tooth. I need to lose 20 lbs and I am going to Hawaii in just over a month. So what happens? The kids want cookies and brownies, I get a migraine and need chocolate to get rid of it and then it SNOWS! So of course I need hot chocolate. So much for no sweets- dangit!

5. Stay up late- So I have been wanting to get up earlier and accomplish more during the day. BUT when the dog wants to be played with until 10pm and then I have to do the whole bed time routine. And then I lay there....And look at the clock and it's 1am- dangit!

Oh well!!!!

My dog is giving me Post-partum Depression

2010-04-19T20:26:00.000-07:00

So you may laugh but between the puppy and the kids I just want to CRY!!!!
The puppy feels the need to poop and pee whenever & wherever it so pleases. She likes to chew on human flesh, shoes, toys, clothes or whatever else she can get a hold of whether you are wearing it or NOT! This makes me realize that I am done adding things/people to this family.
Now the youngest child who thinks he is potty trained also seems to have accepted the puppy's potty habits and now takes his diaper off whenever he feels that he needs a new one- unfortunately sometimes he does and more POOP to clean up- UGH!
With the lack of sleep from trying to take the dog out and getting up too early and staying up to late. Cleaning up little boy's rooms all the time and cleaning the same toilet 8 times in one week. While trying to get a garden in and not kill plants that cost and arm and a leg and gaining weight despite working out and realizing I AM INSANE.
Although I often feel that I am completely unimportant. I realize that if I quit this non-profit job then my children would be savages with a dog that would be cleaning their bottoms rather than me.
So here is to a life full of poop-literally. And down with people who say I will miss this one day because I guarantee that I WON'T.
I won't miss poopy pants and a crazed dog.
I won't missed spills and accidents on newly cleaned floors.
I won't miss screaming and crying and barking and fighting.
I won't miss parenting alone.
I won't miss being vomited on.

HOWEVER... I will miss being needed even when I want a break OR having a little guy crawl into bed with me or kids falling asleep on me or in my arms OR getting notes that say I LOVE YOU.

BUT I guess that I can't have one without the other...DANGIT!

The Literate Mother

2010-04-13T09:21:00.001-07:00

The Literate Mother is a blog dedicated to mothers who want to know what their kids are reading and I am SOOOOO excited about it. With a son who reads more and faster than I do I rely on people and sources that I trust to let me know what my kids are reading and whether or not is is trash.
Books are rated on 4 categories that may be of concern to parents ( Language, Violence, Sexual Content & Adult Themes) and a brief review is written. There is an explanation about how they rate the books and you can search their site for a book by title- very helpful- or just read the most recent post.
It is amazing that these women have done this and I hope that you all find it as helpful as I have.
So go check it out www.theliteratemother.org

Book Review

2010-04-13T09:05:00.001-07:00

The Help
I loved this book. The help is another success for southern writers. Kathryn Stockett caught all I know and remember about growing up in the south. The Good, The Bad & The Ugly!
Miss Stockett was able to do justice to the time period, the different characters and above all the setting. I haven't been so homesick for Louisiana in YEARS. I found myself wishing I was sitting on a porch drinking lemonade watching the crepe myrtles, azaleas, magnolias and every other flower that filled the senses at this time of the year. I nearly grabbed a bowl of grits while I read it was so deliciously entertaining! People just don't understand that to feed you is to LOVE you. Being mostly German and being raised in the South I take my gastronomic love fest very seriously.
I loved the characters and the way that she captured everything that makes me say oh my I remember that. (Maison Blache, Community coffee, hose pipe, caramel cake, junior league...oh my I could go on!) I identified with both Miss Celia and Skeeter most because althoug I consider myself from Louisiana, most people wouldn't since I don't go back generations there. But one thing is for certain once you get a taste for Tabasco and Tony's you are a part of Louisiana and it is a part of you!
I encourage everyone to read this book. It is like a grownup version of To Kill A Mockingbird, I wonder if Kathryn Stockett will be our Harper Lee.

A Day in the Life

2010-04-06T22:05:00.000-07:00

12am: Puppy cries loudly to be taken out for potty.
12:15am: FIRST attempt to return to bed (perform Tooth fairy duty on return trip)
12:25am: Take puppy out again
12:30am: Play with puppy to get out extra energy
12:40am: SECOND attempt to go to bed
12:50am: Puppy continues to cry pathetically
1am: Take puppy out again & pet,play and calm puppy.
1:40am: Put puppy away and lay on floor hoping she will be done for the night
2am: Third return to empty bed
6:40am: YAY!! Puppy slept most of night, but awake once again
Glad to be awake since I have to be a jury duty, UGH!
6:50am: wake kids to tend dog so I can get dressed.
7:15am: Feed older 2 kids
7:30am: Finally all dressed and feeding and clothing younger two kids
Writing schedule and map for mother-in-law
8am: Worrying about jury duty
8:10am: SO glad that my mother-in-law can watch kids
8:15am: Mother-in-law arrives and I depart for Castle Rock
9am: arrive at courthouse, get scanned for contraban, turn in one questionaire and fill out another.
9:15am: Get told that my number is in a batch that is set for county cases and RARELY do people get dismissed. (PRAYING begins!)
Wondering how long this will take, speculating about how many days I will be here, grateful I didn't have to be there at 7:45am
Read to distract myself form inevitable
10am: Names are starting to be called and assigned to courtrooms.
Anxiety!
10:30am: FREEDOM! Between the 4 dependant children- 2 under 4yrs, family friends and family being victims of violent crimes, law enforcement members of my family, being a former University traffic cop & Interning for Utah Foster Care I was disqualified!!!
11am: Return home and get on with life.
11:45am: Load Butch & Sundance in car
12pm: Pick up kindergartner
12:15pm: Lunch, homework, ect.
1pm: Stop dog from nibbling on kids AGAIN
1:30pm: find mail key...YAY!
2pm: realize UH OH I need to work out
2:30pm: load the menagerie in the car, lock up puppy and go to gym
2:45pm: Arrive at gym, unload kids, jump on treadmill and RUN
3:45pm: Retrieve children to pick up #1 child at school
4pm: Retrieve #1 Child, nearly get blown away by hurricane force wind
4:15pm: Check mail and arrive home, make kids take puppy out
4:30pm: Make kids play outside with puppy, 2yr old decides to strip down to diaper and go outside- WHATEVER!
Go through mountain of mail and assess how much money we don't have- UGH
5pm: Contemplate dinner
5:30pm ZAP Easter leftovers
6pm: clean up after Dinner, Make kids take puppy back out
6:30pm: Watch Shirley Temple Movie with kids
7:30pm: Play Wii
8pm: get ready for bed
8:15pm: Dog pees on rug. Make #1 child take puppy out!!!
8:20pm: #1 kid and puppy come in and puppy is limping....NOOOOO!
8:30pm: Call Animal ER
8:45pm: Kids and dog all loaded in car on our way to ER
Call sister and pray she can meet me and take kids home and throw them in bed
9pm: Arrive at ER, console #1 kid that the dog will be fine- fingers crossed, fill out paper work and WAIT
9:15pm: Awesome sister arrives and car keys are exchanged, continue to wait
9:18pm: Puppy wants to walk around.
9:30pm: see vet tech and decide to see vet and fork out $79 for the trouble
9:35pm: Vet evaluates puppy.
Diva dog is now jumpy and licking and just-ARG! Just like my daughter.
9:45pm: Discharged and told to just watch behavior but that puppies often overreact to small injuries. DANGIT!
10pm: Arrive home, glad dog is fine, puppy promptly pees on floor, gets taken out and is put to bed!
10:15pm: do some laundry. Discover that someone put a diaper in the washer, have to clean out all the gel crap from my $800+ washer.
10:30pm: Finally wash face and brush teeth
11pm: blog about day
12am: sleep..I hope!

Lucky PENNY

2010-03-30T14:23:00.000-07:00

Well we finally did it. We got a dog. Since a baby is out of the question a puppy was the best alternative. We thought that we had a much cheaper option but due to a broken leg that puppy was not meant to be and the search was on for our Penny.
For years Ryan was unrelenting about wanting a "hunting" dog- specifically a German Shorthair. I wasn't opposed but I wanted a family dog first and hunting dog second. I have always loved Labs and I love chocolates, so only natural to want a chocolate lab. I wanted a female too because I wanted the smallest version possible.

After years of debate and consulting outside sources Ryan was finally convinced that a lab would be a good choice for us. He researched pedigree and price, kennels & breeders and finally found one.
So after skiing last Saturday, Ryan and Michael drove to Fruita, Colorado and brought home our little girl. She is so much fun and the kids have been so good about cleaning up after her and learning about what she needs. Hopefully she will be as good at hunting as she is at being a part of our family.

Mary Poppins

2010-03-20T22:20:00.000-07:00

May I just say that Mary Poppins was/is great. Even after being vomited on* and holding a child that was sick for 2+ hours this show made me laugh, smile, and yes even cry.

Ah, motherhood.

* So about 10 minuets before the show starts William crawls into my lap and cuddles up. I should have known then this was not a good thing. HE begins the pre-vomit convulsing and promptly vomits all over himself and me in the balcony. Thankfully others were spared and I was only humiliated and not mortified! Luckily the staff donated garbage bags to the cause- one for his clothes ( yes he was down to the diaper) & one for the second round that came shortly before intermission. Yes we stayed. And William slept through the second act. So there you have it! Next time you kids are squirmy in public just pause and think at least they aren't vomiting on me.

TOO much time...

2010-02-18T22:57:00.000-08:00

When I stay up this late I think too much.
Tonight we discussed the book, Love That Dog by Sharon Creech at book club. This quote from the book is exactly what is going on with me...
Sometimes
when you are trying
not to think about something
it keeps popping back in your head
you can't help it
you think about it
and
think about it
and
think about it
until your brain
feels like
a squashed pea.

Do you ever feel that way?

With Ryan traveling so much I often think too much...What if this or what if that? What about this or what about that? Why this & why that?
None of my questions are ever answered satisfactorily but I guess that is what life is, a season of questions & if I had the answers I wouldn't need faith.

So here is to faith, may we all have enough to get through each day.

NO rhyme or reason

2010-02-17T17:29:00.000-08:00

I often contemplate if there is any rhyme or reason to why certain things happen. Today I received a phone call that my husband's uncle was killed in a freak car accident in Arizona. He was on his way home from the funeral of Ryan's great-uncle with his wife, two of his sisters, and his brother-in-law when they got a flat tire. He and his brother-in-law were changing the tire when another driver dozed off swerved and hit our uncle, one day before his 56th birthday.
So why? Why him? Why now? One year ago his mother passed away, & now him?
This Uncle was the first member of the family that I met when Ryan & I were dating. He was a genuinely kind man who didn't have a mean bone in his body. He has a beautiful wife, two daughters & two sons and two granddaughters.
I can't even imagine being at family gatherings without him. I know that I have only been a part of this family for such a short time, relatively speaking, but I was effected by his presence in my life- all for the good.
This was not like the last three deaths that we have experienced where the people were elderly and suffered for a long time. This was sudden and so.....shocking. It amazes me how death can be a welcomed friend in one instance and a vile enemy in the next. Even with a knowledge of the life after the meaning for those left behind is often of no comfort or worse completely elusive.
I simply pray that I can be more like he is/was.

Crazy Garden Lady

2010-02-11T22:40:00.001-08:00

So my mom loves to garden, and she is really good at it too. Now that I have seen the following pictures I know that this has always been the fact....Enjoy how cute my mom was as a toddler with her garden tools.
Watch out Dad she may revert any day now!)

9 years down...only 9 left :(

2010-02-09T08:38:00.000-08:00

So my oldest turned 9 yesterday. It is astounding to know that half of the time he will live with us full-time is now over. I am so grateful to have this awareness so that each day I can make the effort to better appreciate the time I do get to spend with him.
He is and amazing young man. At a recent parent teacher conference his teacher mentioned how kind and compassionate Michael is. She said, " I can teach him to read and many other things BUT I can't teach him to care for others."
I was nearly in tears. Sometimes you just have to hear the truth from someone else.
Michael is a great blessing to me in my life and although he is not perfect he encourages me to be better. He teaches me that what I say and do have an impact- especially on him.
As I think back here are some things I have learned from being a mother to this exceptional kid.
1. One persons average is another's amazing. Always strive to be your own amazing.
2. Listening to your kids is more than hearing them. Often they talk and talk and talk, sometimes you just need to tell them that you want to listen and then they will wait until you can.
3.Love to learn. Michael has always loved to know things. He always asks me questions and thankfully we have the internet to go to when mom has to admit she doesn't have the answers.
4. When you think something is wrong it often is. Moms should never second-guess their intuition when it comes to their kids.
5. Loving siblings doesn't always come naturally, it is my responsibility to encourage and foster love between my kids. Eventually they will engender the natural affection that we all want to be their.
6. 8 hours of sleep is not always necessary. Since Michael was little we would hear him in his room late at night singing or playing. Now he stays up reading until at least 11pm (sometimes later). He still gets up and practices, does chores and gets to school on time.
7. Your trials may be a blessing in disguise. During my pregnancies I was always super sick. When Michael was two I was pregnant and could barely do the laundry. Michael learned to unload the dryer and how to load the washer- periodically chunking clothes behind the old top load washer. He is now a super helper and has taught his sister & brothers to do laundry and other chores.
8. Make the time you spend with them productive and fun, they will always want to be around you for part of their day. It is not always easy to entertain kids of different ages but I have found that my kids crave being around me. We try to put them in bed and they invariably offer to "help" do something. As much as I know they are avoiding bed I also know they want just a little more time with mom & dad.

It is surreal to look into the unknown and only have a general idea of what will happen. As the details become clearer I hope that I can fully prepare Michael for the years he will be away from us as they unfortunately rapidly approach.

Book Club

2010-01-23T20:59:00.000-08:00

I love book clubs. These groups of women are so super awesome and having some mental stimulation is awesome too.
I love having motivation to read books that I have always wanted to read and being exposed to other books that I wouldn't read otherwise.
It is amazing how for days after I think about the conversation and the topics that are addressed while discussing a book. What a great blessing it is for me to have an excuse to get out while Ryan travels so much...So in honor of how much I love books & book club let me quote my daughter. After organizing her bookshelf today she emphatically stated:"I need more books my shelves aren't full yet." (I love that girl.)

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match...

2010-01-19T12:18:00.000-08:00

I hate folding socks! Need I really say more?

Just a little Fluff

2010-01-18T13:55:00.000-08:00

So here is how I waste my time...

(Before)
So for years I have been wanting to recover these pillows. 1) Because no matter how much I cleaned them they still looked dirty and 2)because they didn't really match the linens in my bedroom.
So I took this fabric:

And tada...

Next I took this awesome aqua toile I found a few years ago and made a pillow for one of chairs in my bedroom.

I may take the remaining toile and make a variation on this pillow. Hopefully it won't take me as long to get to it.
Now to make pillows or covers for the living room and to recover some pillows for our family room. (I am a little pillow crazy at the moment.) The good thing is that the projects keep me sane in a weird twisted way. I guess that I feel that if I accomplish something...anything that is better than nothing.

Need a SMILE?

2010-01-12T21:43:00.000-08:00

Ok so if you ever get down and need a smile you have to see the Independant Film I just watched. YOUNG @ HEART!
This was the most uplifting thing I have watched in quite a while. It gives me hope and I smiled the entire time.
In case you haven't seen it an want a brief synopsis so that you can add it to your netflix or reserve it at the library, here goes.
This film follows the Young @ Heart Chorus as they learn their repitoire of Rock n Roll music in 2007. This chorus is a group of Seniors from North Hampton, MA (Not just 60 or 70 somethings but some members pushing 90!) They are astounding! If you visit their website (www.youngatheartchorus.com) you will see that this group has been around since 1983 and that the love of the founders for the members of this chorus is genuine. These people teach you to find joy in your life even when it hands you trials- some members were on oxygen and still sang! This is what I want to be like when I become old. Not old like dang I wish I were 20 again but old like I have lived my life and now I get to play! I can't wait!
(I watched this on Independent Lens on PBS so you may be able to check your local listings and I encourage you to watch...It is worth the time.)

2010...and away we go

2010-01-11T12:48:00.000-08:00

So here we are recovering from Christmas and making resolutions and it hits me why don't I look at others' resolutions and just do theirs. It is easier than giving myself a guilt trip about what I won't do and of the resolutions I have read recently most I have already done so I'm already doing great. So here it goes I am going to fulfill all of the following that I have read on other's blogs.

1. No SODA! (This was the easiest one I found out there. I haven't drunk soda-other than an occasional sip- since about 1995. So one down)

2. Keep a journal (Again already do it. Technically I have about 7 going at the same time. One for Ryan and I to write in. One for each kid, one just for me and then a gratitude journal- nothing but the good stuff can go in there.)

3. Read ( do it- if I read more I'd get even less done.)

4. Work out (doing this although the results are not quite what I wanted/expected. Oh well I'll just keep at it.)

5. No cavities (30 and never had one yet. No likely to get one now! THe kids on the other hand...)

Now the last few resolutions are some of the top for 2010: Stop smoking-never started; Quit drinking- again never started;

So there you have it my resolutions are done and already accomplished. That was easy now only six months to prepare for Christmas. Yep I am moving it to JUNE. No one gets sick in June, right?

Short update...I hope

2010-01-04T22:43:00.000-08:00

Christmas- good visit with family; homemade gifts were a success; if I have to clean vomit on one more Christmas I will move Christmas to June!

William- how did you get 2 so fast. Dang kid you are growing up TOO fast.

James- bore his first testimony yesterday and Michael helped him. You could only see his eyes and the top of his head but boy was he brave and awesome. Way to go SUNBEAM!

Michael- always aware of EVERYTHING. Tonight Michael said family prayer and asked for "protection from the dangers of this world like fire and carbon monoxide." This is a direct quote. SO cute still at nearly nine.

Christi- learned that combing her hair makes it look spectacular! Maybe we shouldn't encourage this boys are sure to notice her more.

Ryan- back to traveling ALL THE TIME; miss him tons

Katie- I think I may actually finish decorating & organizing this house before July...or at least by next December?

Ok that's it for now. I gotta sleep!

Just Some Pics

2009-11-28T21:28:00.000-08:00

I love finding pictures I didn't know I had. These are just a few images floating around that I love. I hope that you enjoy them too.
Ryan built a simple sand box for the kids this summer. The kids LOVE it and so do the parents!

Literature

2009-11-18T12:47:00.000-08:00

So I have been thinking about the stuff that I read. I like almost every genre and I am willing to read nearly anything HOWEVER I have noticed recently that I haven't read anything that is very happy. I mean there are happy parts to many books I have read but then again maybe art is once again mimicking life. Isn't life made up of snapshots of happiness mixed in with a great deal of enduring?
Is it an unreasonable expectation for me to want to read something light? Have a good chuckle? Some light things can be superficial and you know what that is ok. So I will list some of the happier/lighter things that I have read. Feel free to include suggestions.

1. Much ado About Nothing by: William Shakespeare ( I love the satire and confusion of this play. It is hilarious to see how some things never change even after 500years.)
2. The Importance of Being Ernest by: Oscar Wilde (Another play that is full of satire and wit. It is also a fairly decent movie.)
3. Pippi Longstockingg by: Astrid Lindrgen (Great story that show that our adult inhibitions are what often puts a damper on how life really should be. Oh how I'd love to be Pippi for a day.)
4. The Little Prince(Le Petit Prince) by: Antoine de Saint-Exupery ( This book again uses the perspective of a child to find joy in the small things. Although there are some SAD parts overall this is a life changing book and is even better when read in the original French. I found great symbolism in this book too.
5. Charlotte's Web by: E.B. White (You be the judge: happy or sad? I am conflicted about this one. I love this book but where does it fall. I lean more on the realistic rather than happy or sad. Happy for Wilbur, sad for Charlotte? Sad for Wilbur too? )
6. Tuesdays With Morrie by: Mitch Albom (Ultimately sad but what great perspective.)
7. The Last Lecture by: Randy Pausch ( Knowing that the author is now deceased this one again leaves me feeling like this is reality at its best. What a great message and overall I felt that it was worth my time and I felt good after reading it.

Feel free to suggest some books that I may enjoy that will lighten my mood. (FYI- I started Three Cups of Tea but the writing style was not that great and made it difficult for me to plow through. Plus I didn't find it that happy; inspirational yes. Happy I don't know.)

Just keep Swimming

2009-11-18T12:43:00.000-08:00

I'd like to thank everyone who left a comment about my last post. I was doing a bit of emotional vomiting. It's all good now and mostly because of your gracious comments.
Thanks y'all.

Why bother?

2009-11-05T22:39:00.000-08:00

So I often try to do more than I can or I should and often on behalf of my family. SO why bother?
Why do I talk to my siblings on the phone A TON? Why do I spend hours searching out my ancestors? Why do I keep journals for each of my kids? Why do I write letters to my husband? Why do I exhaust myself to make meals that kids don't eat? Why do I sew Halloween costumes? Why do I encourage health and education? Why do I even get out of bed?

Well here is why...because I have a firm belief that when you love people you give them your best even when they don't want it. You make the meals, clean the clothes, listen to the whining, advise, counsel and get NO pay and lose copious amounts of sleep in the hope that one day someone; anyone, will listen to you and realize that you do love them. And maybe if you are super lucky...maybe they will ALL listen!?! Not all at once and never all at the same time but cumulatively maybe it will happen.

Am I delusional? Possibly, but I have to hold to some kind of faith that my work does matter. That my lowly opinion has some importance- is this possible? That all of this is worth the sleepless nights, migraines, backaches, and the many more to come. This is what gets me through the weeks without a spouse. The days with cranky kids. And the months of worry about siblings.

So that is why I bother, because when I love people I don't hold back and I will give my all until there is nothing else to give. Not the smartest practice BUT more often than not that love is reciprocated and I am better because of it.

Spouses needed...or at least DATES

2009-10-22T09:10:00.001-07:00

John, 28

David, 24

Jeane, 26,

Do you see these three AWESOME individuals??? Huh, do ya? Ok then these are three of my four available siblings and I would like some neices and nephews. Or at least some sibling-in-laws. (I mean seriously can you even just go on a date with them???)

So world I am sending this out there. I admire these three people SOOO much and I know that there must be 2 girls and a guy that would appreciate them even more than I do. These three are absolutely amazing. John & Jeane have master's degrees and David is pursuing that too. (They are way smarter than me.)

John is a deep thinker and is fiercly devoted to his friends and family.(FYI can cook like any great German and yet speaks spanish fluently.)

David is fun and makes everyone smile. He loves his family and is full of surprises.(Yes he has curly hair and speaks swedish.)

Jeane is AMAZING!!! She loves books even more than me and is a great aunt/mom to my kids. She knows how to handle a gun- but doesn't own one....yet. She is a huge Bare Naked Ladies fan and a devoted convert of Michael Buble-my bad influence!

So there you have it people.... I want the resumes to POUR in! Forward this post to all of your single friends and siblings. LEts get these kids married.

Homemade for Christmas...

2009-10-20T20:56:00.000-07:00

OK so I have four children and 2 nieces and 4 nephews, 4 in-law siblings and 2 in-law parents who will all be HERE- well at the in-law parents'- for Christmas. (I also have my parents and 4 siblings but they are easy.)
To the point...I want to MAKE-yes I am insane- the Christmas gifts this year. With a VERY tight budget this seems best. I already have most of the girls either planned or made. (YAY!) However that leaves me SEVEN boys to plan and follow through with. So any ideas? I am already planning on wooden blocks, anything else??? What about Rubber-band guns?
Bean bags?
I-Spy bags?

What about the adults? Any ideas? Pot holders? Sachets? I dunno?
If you have any ideas and know where I can find instructions let me know.

Thanks in advance.

NOBEL PRIZE a joke

2009-10-09T15:19:00.000-07:00

OK I am a bit ticked off -again- at the Nobel Peace prize committee. First off Pres. Obama won the peace prize today. Don't get me wrong, I don't think he is a bad man BUT he hasn't even been president a year yet and if Saturday Night Live is saying he has only accomplished "diddly" and "squat" then WHY did he get this peace prize? Is making promises the way that one gets this accolade? I mean seriously if that is all then I promise if I ever become a billionaire I will end worls hunger!!!

This is not the first time that I have been ticked at the committee. When Al Gore won he beat out a woman (Irena Sendler) who smuggled jewish children out of the ghettos in suitcases.

So here I say OPRAH has done more for peace then the current president and I hope that he lives up to this honor.

Just FYI here are some of the past winners:
http://nobelprizes.com/nobel/peace/peace.html

By the way Ghandi and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. NEVER won the prize.

Edited on 10/14: Ok so I still don't think thatPres. Obama had earned this prize YET however he was very humble about the situation. Hopefully Norway will get it one day...or not. Whatever!

BOOKS, books, books

2009-10-05T13:12:00.001-07:00

Ok so I am a bookaholic. If my house burned down I would lay in the fetal position for months mourning the loss of decades of books- both purchased and inherited. So in honor of the love of books I wanted you to all know about this AWESOME website.
www.paperbackswap.com
On this site you swap books(paperback, Hard back & audio) with other members and all you have to pay is media mail rate (abt. $3). I love it already and found a new way to unload duplicates and books I will probably NEVER read again. Maybe this new found site came at the perfect time. After helping my grandmother move TONS of books I just concluded that it is past time to downsize.
So here is to a book swap. (By the way they do DVDs and CDs too)

Family Pics

2009-09-13T14:35:00.000-07:00

So taking family pictures is something that I would really love to do more often but it never quite works out. You get everyone dressed and something seems to always go awry. Since we have a photographer in the fam and I'd rather not pay a fortune to get my pictures done we torture ourselves and do the whole timer thing and then someone moves or talks or looks at the stupid goose on the grass or picks there nose yada yada yada... BUT despite all the junk that we endured yesterday we got some cute ones and it is amazing how fast these kids are growing up.

I hope that you enjoy these because we did, even if it wasn't perfect it was fun.

Look at our little peanut all grown up. (Last in diapers YAY!)

Lady killer- not that girls even exist unless they have an interesting observation.

Those eyes spell lots of trouble in about 10 (or 2) years. What a beauty!

Hello my name is danger and I like to eat rocks with my face!

Thing 2 and Thing 1...they like each other- sometimes.

Sundance, Butch, Bonnie and Clyde. They only look innocent!

Ten years of marriage, eleven years together and a ton left to go.

Labor Day

2009-09-08T18:49:00.000-07:00

So for the past 3 years we have gone with some of our friends camping near Leadville, CO. It is great! It is so nice to have the kids out in nature and playing with people you trust to look after and discipline your kids if need be. I LOVE IT! Not to mention we get to have church out in the woods. I am so grateful for these opportunities.
Here are just a few pictures. Again my kids think that going to the beach means a glacial lake in the mountains- oh well.

Actually finished something

2009-09-08T18:36:00.000-07:00

SO... you know how you always have good intentions about crafty stuff but then it usually sits for months if not years before it gets finished. WELL... I actually finished something and on time too.
So a few months ago I was with my partner in crime- my sister Jeane- at JoAnn fabric store and I decided hey I think I should make my new niece to be a baby quilt. This is quite the feat considering I have about four quilts already in the works and none are done yet. DOH!
BUT with the impending delivery I had a definite deadline. So today before the newest Norris arrived I finished the binding and popped it in the mail. ( I think she was waiting for me to finish before she finally arrived.)
So here is the finished product for Camilla Sue (by the way her brother is Spencer)...I hope she likes it but I know that I think it turned out pretty darn good.

30 is AWESOME

2009-09-01T07:14:00.000-07:00

The Big day was bound to be great due to the fact that on Wednesday I got a surprise visit from my old roommate Angie. I've known Angie since June 1997 so longer than I've know Ryan and it was great to see her and her family.
So on the big day last Thursday (Aug 27th) two of my dear friends took me to work out and swim with them before Ryan wisked me away on a trip to remember. With the help of my super sister and some awesome friends the kids were taken care of so the cares of everyday life were gone.
First we stopped for dinner in Fairplay, CO. We found this amazing little Italian place tucked away where no one would find it without stopping to ask for directions. The meal was super yummy and then we were off to our final destination, Buena Vista, CO.
The drive from our home through Fairplay to Buena Vista was beautiful. (I realized that there is so much of Colorado I have yet to see.)

As we got closer to our lodging we had an adventure trying to find this 100 year old cabin but we were finally successful. Thankfully it wasn't too late because we had an early morning.
So on Friday Ryan had a day packed with activities to check off the old "bucket list". Activity number one- RIVER RAFTING! I have never rafted before and I thought why not. As per instructions from my mom I wore a helmet but the water was low so not too much danger but tons of fun! Our guide was great and it certainly was a work out! I will definitely raft again and hopefully with the kids in tow at least once.
After rafting we ventured into town for a lite lunch and then back to the cabin to change for the next activity...Sunset Horseback ride. I love horses and there is nothing like seeing the world from the back of a horse. It was relaxing and enjoyable to watch dusk approach over the mountains. It was also great to have a shorter horse- only 15 hands- that made the dismount much easier.

After 2 hours on horseback we decided dinner was in order. So more yummy food and then onto the Mt. Princeton Hot Springs. This was a great way to end the day because although we weren't sore while riding after was an entirely dfferent story. Man was the Hot Springs relaxing. God's hot tub I like to call it. 104 degree water in one pool 90 degree water in another pool and then smaller natural pools right beside the creek to help you appreciate the need for both hot and cold water.

After another good night's rest and much needed after a jam packed day we went for a morning haike to Agnes Veil Falls. Only about half a mile and totally worth the burning muscles.

It was a great way to start our morning before we went to the local antique stores and then drove up to Leadville.
As the day wore on I was ready to see the kids again and relieve my sister and my in-laws. By about 6pm we were nearing home and I was grateful to have had this time alone with my super awesome husband. To be able to share our thoughts uninterrupted and to talk about what is most important to us and our family was a great end to our weekend away...Or so I thought.

When we got to our house to see my sister she was all mysterious and said that she had really cleaned the house and that I had to keep my eyes closed so that I could be surprised. When I opened them I was more than surprised I was shocked. Standing in my kitchen were some of our closest friends and MY MOM. Ryan had planned a surprise party for me! And my mom had flown over to help Jeane with the kids and to be here for my 30th birthday. It was the perfect ending to a perfect weekend...well up until all the kids and I got strep. Oh well there really is opposition in all things! Still a little bacteria won't ruin my birthday. Just means I get to be lazy a little longer and be justified;)

So 30 is great and I can't wait for 31 and beyond!

3 Days to Go

2009-08-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

Yep only thre days left before the big 3-0 ! I am actually excited! Ryan has a getaway planned for us and I am so stoked. This will be our first time away for a few days without kids since the number one kiddo came along. I only have a vague idea where we are going- somewhere only 3 hours away where we can go rafting. Who knows but I am so proud that Ryan has been able to keep the secret this long.
Thankfully I have a super duper sister and friends who are going to help me get the kids taken care of.
Weird to think that this will be the eleventh birthday that Ryan and I have spent together, I can't wait for more to come.
I think my 30's will be great. Not problem free but just full of possibility and being able to say we aren't having more bambinos makes the 30's seem that much more bright. No months on end where I am no good to anyone. Hopefully my plan to spend the thirties recovering from the 20's will work out too. To be healthier at 35 and 40 than I am right now will be a dream come true.
So here's to me. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I made it and I am still semi-sane....I think :)

If I had a Thousand dollars....

2009-07-28T10:57:00.000-07:00

So what would you do with $1000? Maybe buy something you've been waiting for? Maybe take a trip? Pay off some debt?
Well let me tell you what I did with a thousand dollars...and in just one week. EXCITED? Oh I bet you are...anticipation just killing you?
Wait for it....
In one week I spent nearly $1000 on car repairs that HAD to be done. Fun, huh? Bet ya never thought about that huh- well maybe ya did. And the best part of it all was that I do not have said $1000 to spend on such things. So I guess that new breaks were my 30th birthday present a month early. (Thanks Mom & Dad)

So here's to hoping that I don't have to spend that much money in a week for a while- oh wait the mortgage is due next week. So much for that idea. DANG!

Most Poignant Movie EVER!

2009-07-17T23:22:00.000-07:00

So I watched The Boy In the Striped Pajamas just now and it was...sad, poignant, disturbing,tragic. I don't know how to describe it.
I have always been a bit of a WWII junkie. I want to understand how it happened, how people were deceived, what led to the people of the world turning a blind eye, etc. Maybe I just want to be able to see it coming next time- if you think there won't be a next time read some history.
Anyway this movie makes me want to read the book and prayerfully consider when I want to expose my children to this part of history. I know that in the next two years Michael will be learning about WWII but I need to be able to let him know the truth without scarring him for life. Maybe I will watch this with him when he is 12 or so.

Maybe the movie upset me so much because I know it could have happened AND more because I have an eight year old (the age of the characters in the movie). I'm not saying that I didn't like the movie BUT I am not sure you should like it. It gave me pause and it made me think and if you really want to know the details of the film they are on the internet.

Summer Fun with PICS

2009-07-13T21:21:00.000-07:00

So we have done some fun stuff this summer and now I will show the pics to prove it.

First was a wonderful ballet recital for the princess.

Baseball anyone?

Family fishing...boy were they yummy!

We went to a pay pond near Fairplay Colorado with Grandma and Grandpa Norris. It was fun and even the little guys had a good time even PEANUT. He found a nice little hole full of water to play in and became adequately soaked and so happy. Ah the joys of childhood!

We even got to the cabin for the first time in THREE years. It was hard to believe that neither James or Will had been to the cabin before. It was great- except the mosquitoes who tried to carry us off.
I wouldn't mind having a life that simple again- oh wait I never have had a life that simple. Oh well these glimpses are great!
I mean who wouldn't want to see this everyday. Just looking at these pictures is relaxing- boy do I need to do that!

We got to see real life pelicans floating down the green river:

We Hiked...well until it started to pour...and hail.

And we roughed it when bathing boys.

There was even some swimming in a glacial lake. BRRR! Poor kids they think that this is what the beach is always like :( Oh well one day they'll learn the joys of a WARM beach. Maybe?

Oh Hail!

2009-07-13T21:01:00.000-07:00

So I took the kids out today and while we were out our weekly plauge struck the POOR garden. Now we all know why Parker wasn't settled earlier. DANG!

This just makes me mad because if I wouldn't have weeded the weeds would have gotten the brunt of everything and my back would still be functional. STINK!

Pray that our food survives this stinky weather. Can't I have rain without HAIL?

What if...?

2009-07-12T23:38:00.000-07:00

I've been reconnecting with alot of people from my childhood and my past and I realized something. I don't think that I am who I once was. I mean maybe it's because life changes a person or because difficult-and sometimes BAD- situations occur and you can't be who you once were. ( Does this make sense?)

I guess that I wonder how close I'd be to those I grew up with if I lived nearer to them.

I left home over 12 years ago. I've been married for nearly ten years and so much changes a person. I find that I am much more introverted than I was as a teenager and young adult. I find myself slightly cloistered with not too many really close friends and I wonder when did this happen or was I just kidding myself all along.

There was a time that I could talk to anyone, anywhere and now I barely ever put myself out there. I once could tell anyone about the faith that I so strongly have but now not so much. I once could stick up for myself in any situation and now I only stand up for myself if it's a medical situation or for my spouse and kids.

What changed?

I think that I am an extrovert trapped in an introvert right now. I so badly want to get out there and go to it BUT with all that is going on I don't have the energy to be all things to all people when I am barely ME.

I wonder if anyone else ever considers these things??? I want to be the best of then and now. I want to have the wisdom that I have gained with the exuberance of those years. Maybe it is hard to put myself out there with those outside of my belief structure because I am looked at as the baby- I am the youngest mom at school and the youngest person on our block. And let me tell you that as an oldest child this is annoying! I have more to offer than I get credit for and even with all of my faults I know stuff and I am willing to learn. Anyway that's enough wandering through my cobweb ridden mind.

Just think about it though. What if...?

Imobile

2009-07-12T23:27:00.000-07:00

So it has happened again. The effects of carrying 4 children has once again bit me in the butt- literally. My sacroilliac joint dysfunction(SJD) has flared up and Ryan is in Alaska until early NEXT Sunday morning- STINK!
(For those of you who don't know what SJD is it is a condition where the ligaments...never mind just go here if you really want to know http://www.spineuniverse.com/videos/sacroiliac-joint/ )

So anyway because of this lovely flare up I walk like an eighty year old and I even have my cane- cool as it may be- to help me along. It really stinks. Sleeping is nearly impossible, sitting isn't comfortable, and standing is ok as long as I don't have to bend. Without Michael and Christi everything would be in complete turmoil. They get the boys out of the cribs they help me lift them in their cribs. They fetch my cane and pick up things I can't. They are super awesome.

I think that this is God's way of saying hey stupid I told you to BE STILL! Well here's my humility. Dang! Who thought child bearing would cause my warranty to expire. I mean I'm not thirty for a whole month and a half and my warranty is blown. But then again it was blown three years ago so whateva!

When it rains...

2009-07-06T20:50:00.000-07:00

I swear can't stuff stay static for a while. I mean today the mower broke, when we just got it tuned boy are they gonna get an earful from me! NOt to mention we are trying to beg the employer to keep us from chapter 11. Plus we have to get a new roof and oh who knows what else is gonna happen before the end of the week. NOt a good start to July huh?

SERIOUSLY.... I loved going to Ryan's family cabin BUT the only problem is that we have to come home. We can't stay in awe of the beautiful creatures and scenery God hid in remote parts of Wyoming-can we? It was great to watch the kids fish and play games and read and hike in the rain and try to jump in with the fish and swim in a glacial lake not knowing that beaches shouldn't feel like they are 50 degrees-brr!

I could turn around and go back if money wasn't so necessary. STINK! Anyway we had fun and I will put up pictures soon. I hope.

LOUISIANA...I found your rain!!!

2009-06-25T17:42:00.000-07:00

So I enjoy rain as much as anyone but COME ON! Don't get me wrong now, it is glorious that what little income we have is not going to the water company or other utilities(here when it rains it cools down- unlike in Louisiana- so no AC needed) but I am ready for a few days of 90's and my poor brothers are steaming in Louisiana where it was about 107 degrees today and it hasn't rained in about a month.

So Louisiana I am done borrrowing your rain for the month of JUNE. I mean when we have 3 inches in two hours plus tons of hail I think we're good for a while. Plus if this were snow we'd be trapped so I guess that we're better off than if this were winter but I could use a break.

I think that Colorado is just greening up for my friend Marsha who doesn't like the shades of brown that things become normally! So here's to you Marsha as Colorado gives you this loverly parting gift of GREEN!

Joi de Vivre..maybe

2009-06-25T12:09:00.000-07:00

Often it can be overwhelming to look for "joi de vivre" when you are experiencing a not so wonderful period in your life. I look at my kids with great envy for their ability to love the moment and be happy with things the way they are. (I guess that means I must be doing something right for them not to know how things really are.)

This week has been quite difficult with Ryan gone and no bites on a new job. Having the unknown as a constant companion is frightening and wearisome. I am tired and only want to have some idea as to how this will all end up...Oh wait I guess this is where faith is supposed to come in AGAIN.

Well enough rambling. Just keep Ryan in your prayers. He works so hard for our family and does so much that it's not really fair to him to have these continued health issues and employment problems but that's life- not very fair. Oh well tomorrow he'll be home YAY!